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Sunday, September 3, 2006
It was wet but not raining, I even saw the sun. Met John and Jeff who read about the cause and are sending a letter and telling their friends. Met Gomo hiking to New Hampshire and Windy a day hiker. Also met a Vet who was in Vietnam. We talked he said he would do what ever he had to to come home. He put up a tough front cause he was afraid and wouldn’t let people into his life until 7 years ago when found Jesus and changed, now he has peace. I know when I find something to believe in it gives me peace.
Did 10 miles to a shelter. Being cautious of being in the rain I didn’t go further. Here I met two campers it took them 1.5 hours to go 2 miles (my speed) because they carried about 100 pounds of gear. A full beer cooler, cast iron frying pans, tent, sleeping bags, pillows, dishes, utensils, 3 gallons of water, boots, sneakers, slippers, change of cloths, cell phone, etc. They rule. I offered to help lighten their load by eating, these boys don’t want to miss a meal; they declined my generous offer.
They started cooking, as I am smelling it cook I remembered the time I tried to be a vegetarian and I cooked chicken for my two boys when they came over. After I set the table and put their food on the plate I knocked one of them off his chair so I could get his chicken.
I have to make a retraction, those two campers invited me for dinner and nobody had to get hurt, Thank God.
Monday, September 4, 2006
Was up and out after the sun was up at 7 a.m. Met some day hikers and told them about the congressional hearing and to write to congress before I got there so they know who I am when I get there. Met Ruff Neck (her neck looked fine to me) whose son is going off to the USMC boot camp. I wonder how many other mothers are walking in the woods praying for their sons, or on their knees at the foot of their bed, or in church asking God what has happened to my child; they have come home but they are not the same, please God help them!
I will be going thru Port Clinton tomorrow morning looking for relief from poison ivy and a newspaper to run our story.
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
Stopped at Port Clinton was not welcomed at Port Clinton Motel (treated me like a homeless Vet). They looked at me funny, had no rooms available, but the parking lot was empty, they told me hiking season was over and even had a sign saying Hikers Welcome, showers and laundry facilities available. Wasn’t able to get a shuttle into town so I left and will shop and make calls from the next town no matter how they treat me.
I can’t imagine what it is like to come home from serving your country having PTSD and being depressed, losing your job, your family, and ending up in the streets and getting these looks. These looks like you’re a bum, loser etc., mean while you may have saved someone they knew and put your life on the line for their freedom. I know it’s easy to help someone that is not depressed, it’s also easier to talk and look at someone who doesn’t need help, that way I’m not reminded that I did nothing for those who did so much.
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Spent a rainy night with Cut Man (a surgeon in search of rest and peace). Up late in a damp morning with glimpses of sun mid day. Met Can Man & Sourcerous who have had enough rock and rain, I say another cake walk, we don’t need no stinking shoes. How easy it could be for me to quit if it was just about the walk, who would care, what would be the difference? Imagine if our soldiers would quit that easy, forget about our supposed freedoms; imagine their buddies whose backs they cover, that they gave their word to, where would they be?
Later I met Solitair then Strech. We talked about Gandhi, one of my idols (another skin head for peace). I remember a story: how his son went into town to get the car fixed and the son said he would go to the movies, Gandhi said to check back at 4 p.m., so the son said ok and went to the movie. At 4 p.m. Gandhi came back to the car the son did not show, he had stayed for the double feature. At 6 p.m. the son came to the car and Gandhi said were you here at 4 p.m. and the son said yes but the car wasn’t done so I went to the second feature, Gandhi said nothing. The car was ready, the boy got in to drive home, he told his Dad to get in, Gandhi refused and said he would walk (6 miles), the son asked why. Gandhi said he wanted to contemplate what he had done that would cause his son to lie to him. His son drove by his side the whole way home and never lied again. Gandhi had asked a question that does not seem to be asked enough, what did I do to cause this? He took full responsibility for his part in it. I take full responsibility for what I have done (which was nothing, apathy) to cause what we have now in our country. I have wasted the freedom they have died for by not using it to question those in power, but to sit and complain about what I have because of what I have done which was nothing. I have gotten out of it what I put in and it is what I deserve.
Made it to Route 501 in Pine Grove, PA, then to Econo-Lodge. I need medication for poison ivy and some salt for the feet as well as an interview and maybe a talk to a church group. Found nothing for poison ivy or Epsom Salt for my feet, tomorrow is another day.
Thursday, September 7, 2006
Got up late, guess the medicine I got for the ivy knocked me out. The paper interview went well, he drove me form Pine Grove to Lancaster (40 min. one way). Where I stayed with Linda and her daughter Kathy who I had met in the White Mts. When I had met them and told them my story they said they wanted to help and to call when I got to PA. They had set up the paper interview and called and e-mailed for 2 days, got the Unitarian Church for me to tell my story (they got more people together for this in 2 days then I got together for a party in 1 week). It went well and they had drafted up form letters for people to sign that they would mail in.
Linda and Kathy know how to use freedom, they don’t just use freedom of speech, which is very popular on the bar stool pulpit, but they use the freedom to call and write their representatives. They use their freedom to act by walking their talk, teaching in the church, involved in counseling and out reach programs. It shows in their relationship, for children know hypocrites and it breeds separation and anger; there is none in this family. Linda takes it to a level I admire. We went shopping and she took her own bag into the store so there would be less waste. It seems like a small thing but if we all did something like that it would make an impact. This family and families like Mark’s where the parents do things, get involved with their children not seeking to get away from them or tell them one thing and do another. People that say to me I haven’t gone thru that but I believe in what you do, what you represent. They reach into their pockets and give, they give their time and they tell me, here is my number if you need anything call (they give me their friendship and trust) I am here for you.
What chance for a healthy childhood do the children of Vets suffering from PTSD have? Where he is so depressed he can’t get out of the house or he is so self-medicated he can’t talk or he knows how his children should behave, but can’t do it himself.
At the lecture I met a Vet who was in counter intelligence, I got an education. A while ago I met a thru hiker that trained for what I call mercenaries to fight our war for us and didn’t tell much more about it. Well, I learned we do this a lot because it is cheaper to pay a man $100-150,000 then to pay our own soldiers 40,000 plus housing, food, medical, etc. Also with intelligence they are encouraged to fudge data to keep the fear factor up. They don’t look at themselves as mercenaries, but as cooperate patriots. Also the leaders lead from the rear, which remind me of a joke: All the body parts were arguing who should be the boss, the brain said it should be me because I control everything, they eyes said it should be me because I keep us from running into things, the nose said it should be me because I smell fire and keep us safe, the ears said it should be us because we hear things keeping us safe. Well the anus said it should be the boss, all the parts laughed so he shut down. Well after a few days the brain got a headache, the eyes watered, the nose ran, and the ears ached so the anus became the boss, which proves you don’t have to have brains to be the boss.
Friday, September 8, 2006
Linda and Chris gave me a ride to the trailhead and it was nice to know that I gave others hope, made a difference, and made new friends.
On the trail I met Grump, who said your reputation precedes you; as a Vet with PTSD I salute you. We talked. He told me when he got out he buried that stuff so deep he never thought of it until he helped with a natural disaster and it all flooded in on him and he committed himself for treatment and still goes as and out patient. He said his whole family knew there was something wrong with him when he got back from over seas, but couldn’t see it till that natural disaster years later brought it up for him. He is planning on writing. I said to him that you don’t seen Grumpy; he said it stands for Grateful Retired United Methodist Pastor and that this country has to do more for the boys coming home. He quoted some lines to a song he doesn’t remember: “All gave some, some gave all”. We embraced and went our separate ways.
Saturday, September 9, 2006
Came upon a volunteer work crew. One of them was a Vet who said when he got out in ’68 he drank for 10 years, stopped for ten years then did it again till he got counseling for PTSD. He said tell them to do something about it, I said I am but I need you to write also so they know who I am.
I have been thinking about the families and when our country lets the fabric of families come undone; it is the foundation of our country itself that comes undone. When it seems our leaders say one thing and do another I start to lose my faith and trust in them. How far are we behind when our people feel unheard and are so frustrated they feel they have nothing to lose.
Today was a little slow, the trail was like a washed out river bed and only did 12 miles when Trail Magic, a local fisherman brought me home, feed me, did my laundry and let me wash. It was great and it also stopped me from pushing to the point where I would have done damage.
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