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Sunday, July 2, 2006
I took a zero day because I got a bunk, it was raining like mad and my feet were a little tender. (A great combo for me). By 11am the sun came out but, reason prevailed and I stayed off my feet. The hikers I have met here are predominantly day hikers, an entirely different attitude than thru hikers. One is a momentary visitor for the sights and moments of awe and the other is on a vision quest, a journey inside.
I met one of the kids who worked at Mizpah I told him I was surprised at my treatment there. He said that thru hikers are supposed to be prepared for the outdoor experience and his first commitment was to the paying guests. (We pay also!) Guess his perception is that a thru hiker is just walking in the woods to walk in the woods? An interesting concept.
The day hikers I have told my story to have been supportive, inspired and thankful; we are all one.
Went to dinner with a family (it was family night) we got to talking about the war and he was angry about the silence after the return home, like do your job, come home forget about it. We talked about the kids who join the service to get out of the ghetto (which works if you stay in) but if after doing 4 yrs end up in the ghetto again.
In the bunk house I talked with 3 women, one who was 13 wanting to go into the military. They want to help me get coverage when I got thru their home state Penn. They asked me why I kept walking, I said because they are our children and they matter to me, if I stop what have I told them? If I stop what do I say to myself? It’s ok, It doesn’t matter, who cares anyway, what are the stories, the excuses you tell yourself? There are no excuses for me anymore, if I don’t act now I am one of the walking dead, I know better now.....I asked them what they would do for their children, there was no limit. This walk is about you and what you would do, I just reflect a fraction of what you would do for your children.
Monday, July 3, 2006
I was up a little after sun up (I’m glad I don’t have a watch I’d probably stay in bed if I knew how early it was). Made it to New Zealand before noon, had soup with bread & butter; what a beautiful view from the porch. Talked with a lot of day hikers, one asked why don’t I support such & such a cause. Sounds great I said, what have you done so far? Silence…. That is how much I will as I see how much it means to you. There are thousands of good causes that sound good at cocktail parties and bar stools and someone might think you care or buy your song and dance because it’s theirs also. It used to be mine, I don’t buy it anymore.
Made it to Gale Head where they cater to day hikers and I can work a few hours for some leftovers and sleep on the floor, I’m Happy. There is a group of 6 kids working here catering to 30 day hikers, teaching them about hiking, the trails, conservation, pollution, being aware and cooking & cleaning for them.
Two others showed up after hiking 19 hours straight going 41 miles carrying around 40-50#’s each (boy & girl). He wore sneakers and it looked like someone tried to peel skin off his feet, she wore boots and was ok. They did it just to see if they could.
How many times have I done something just to explore my limits, maybe not too well thought out at times with a lack of knowledge or foresight. God knows I was present, alive in the moment, usually because my life depended on it.
Tuesday, July 4, 2006
I slept in till 6am because I have to sweep the floor, last night I scrubbed dish racks. I need a new map, I wore holes in this one between folding & unfolding it wet & chaffing in my pocket.
How many of our children coming back do we expect to find their way home when we don’t give them a map to help them when they get confused on what path to take, a safer one, a quicker one. How do we expect them not to stumble and fall in the darkness when we don’t give them a light. How will they find shelter in the storms, where will they find shelter in the storms, where will they find food, who will reach out & help them? …………. How appropriate I got lost using a map, 3 extra miles, I screamed! Re-checked the map and went on. Could you imagine how frustrated you could be without a map following a path to it’s end and finding you’ve been on the wrong one, talk about despair, no wonder when some of them come back they commit suicide.
I made it to a shelter (Green Leaf) before a thunderstorm. Met some Vets who support the cause and one Marine Recon on leave before he gets re-deployed who will check it out before he leaves.
One good thing about getting lost, I met a husband & wife who were wearing the most beautiful thing…………… A smile. Not one of the 47 phony ones but ones that light up their whole face and it started with their eyes. I think a barometer for civilization should be how much they smile. Who wants to be civilized if your not happy? We have all this technology like video games & TV’s to stare at endlessly instead of a fire, and the list goes on. You think we’d be happy with stuff but, I think “our state of being” instead of “having” would be a better guide. I think it would be a little more civilized if we focused on our “state of being” instead of our “state of having”.
There is an old Polish saying, “It is better to be poor and miserable instead of rich and miserable for if you are poor there is hope money will make you happy, if you’re rich and miserable there is no hope”.
Slept at Green Leaf lodge worked for food and a place on the floor, met James & Cricket.
Wednesday, July 5, 2006
I made it to Ilisa Brook Shelter about 12 miles. Saw pitcher plants in a marsh. I am whipped today my calf tightened up.
If anything I have said or will say offends you, I do not apologize because I was once told anyone that gets me angry gives me a great gift. They reflect a part of me that I don’t like or don’t accept, now that I can see it I can change it. If I stay angry it will never change; for what I resist persists. There is also another side of that, there is greatness in me that I deny, am blind to it, because if I saw it I would have to do something, I would change, it would be scary. It is one of those things that someone else has to see in me and draw it out, they are Angels. One of my Angels is my little sister who could see something in me I could not.
Deb (my little sister) was Val A Victorian got married dropped out, got pregnant, bad marriage left at gun point with a child and no money, poor health, ran out of gas in Myrtle Beach (the readers digest version) got on assistance and every time she made progress her health would get worse. She has degenerative Rheumatoid Arthritis to the point she is in a wheel chair her wrists are eaten away as well as her elbows and hips, her surgeries don’t heal and she is in constant pain. She always smiles, has a kind word, a listening ear to anyone with a problem. People are always coming to her with their problems (they have plenty of “stuff” and good health but, not the wealth of Peace and Joy Deb has), I was one of them. She would tell me to go to Momentum, I said “yes” She would call again 2 weeks later, I would say yes; and again. One day she called and said "Ron I have paid for you to go," so I go and they helped me see the greatness she saw. She came up for my graduation after which time I find out for her to pay for my tuition she raffled off gifts that people had given her to see me at graduation (a 17 hour bus ride 1 way to see me for 1 hour) She (who was cripple) picked up soda cans for the deposit money.
I can now see the greatness in you and you are up to a much larger game than what you are now.
Thursday, July 6, 2006
This morning I finally saw a moose in the woods, it was huge! At first I thought it was a boulder then it turned and looked at me, and I thought it had a small velvet couch on its head! Its rack was huge and still had felt on it, he walked away, not run, but walk and just melted into the woods with hardly a sound.
I met some south bounders (Huff, 007, Furry) on my way up Moosilauke which was steep with a waterfall which seemed to be caused by the mountain puncturing a cloud. At the top I met some kids who were impressed enough to want to look up the web site also Tess who was the Guardian on top.
Pushed on to Glencliff (17 miles) stayed at a Hostel with Fat Chap, Lefty, Wanderer, a father and son team and scout. Got in at 6:45pm got food and ice cream, soaked my feet. I’m getting some bad cracks on the sole of my right foot due to getting wet and drying out. I’m taking a zero day to let it heal some.
Friday, July 7, 2006
I’ve been thinking about Easy, not sure if I will run into him again, so if any of you know him, have him read this.
Imagine when you were little and just learning about good & bad, yes & no. You had just drawn on a wall with crayons because you wanted to. As a surprise for your parents; you were yelled at and called bad. You ran crying to that one person who always had time for you, always loved you no matter what, you were safe and you didn’t have to say a word. They smiled and opened their arms, you crawled up onto their lap, and they embraced you and consoled you as you cried. …. This is my God who loves me more than I love my children and if she didn’t want me to color on the wall there would be no crayons. There are no accidents, she allows things to happen so we get to be at choice, to create, to experience, to be. If we take a life it is not a loss for I cannot escape God alive or dead, alive I have the body, dead I don’t, God has me either way. It is not a loss so much as a change dropping the body, I am not just a body. I am a spirit being human, flesh. From here I get to be at choice, what am I being good, bad, etc. Every moment I can make another choice (that is freedom) When I make a conscious choice, that is power.
I could let his death be in vain by throwing away my life (in guilt, shame, anger, alcohol, drugs etc.) thus 2 lives are wasted. Or, I could choose to be compassionate, tolerant, use the freedoms I chose to defend or help those people I choose to protect; for I know the price that was paid. With a price that high do not throw it away, if anything, change it so it doesn’t happen again.
Went to a little town get-together in Warren, I talked to one of the vendors who is an ex-Marine and his daughter is over there now with the Marines. He took the web site info for both he and his daughter.
I had lemonade, 2 almost raw hamburgers (just the way I like em) and a sausage hero. Home to bed at midnight (10:30pm)
Saturday, July 8, 2006
I left Glencliff Hostel at 5:30am, saw a porcupine, fox, and snake. Easy walking, met Bear Bait, Critter, Applesauce, & Melon day hikers. Bear Bait a Vet from “69” said he wished he had the answers. I think the answer is to keep looking different places, try different things and talk about it so it is in the open. How can we expect to keep doing the same things expecting different results? If that is how the civilized world does it, than I don’t want to be civilized.
Then I met Jerzar (India name for the warrior lying on the battlefield complaining not wanting to go then Lord Krishna comes to him and reams him out, tells him to get up and go forth) whose father had P.T.S.S. from WWII, he said they called it schizophrenia back then. I then met Chris Colensia a park Ranger checking the trail and making sure everyone is safe; his daughter’s birthday is 11/11 Veterans Day: some odd coincidences.
I made it to Fire Wardens cabin a 20 mile hike. The cabin looks like the cabin in “The Blair Which Project”, the bugs are thick tonight. I almost nodded of and heard something, I jumped up. It was a thru Hiker Thumper with a light on his head.
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