Here are my notes from my daily journal as I walked across America.

How is everything going with you and what are you up to? We started our walk June 1st at the monument for the minuteman where the first shot was fired that started the revolution in Concord. We will be in NY around the 26th of June.  We are looking for a place to park our camper and maybe get picked up and dropped of along my route for a few days as well as being able to talk to any group of people interested in what we are doing. This walk is very hard at times, when I met a young man whose
brother had committed suicide and I share his pain in hopes it will lighten his burden. There are lighter moments, but these sorrowful ones are very heavy.

Sun,  June 7th: On my way to California I happened to come across the Peace Abby and stopped in to see what they were up to as it seems a lot of peace movements are active and willing to help even if you still believe that there are times when a war may be just.  I don’t get involved in politics as I don’t have the information to make that decision.  Any decisions I make in those areas are meaningless as I am ill informed, but I do know and most can agree that our soldiers coming home need more help to adjust to coming home. Well while there they showed me a memorial they had for the unknown civilians who had died in combat.  It is a one ton slab of  Granite, engraved on it is, “To the unknown civilians killed in war”. It is not something that is talked about much, which isn’t surprising as 90% or better of the people killed in a war are civilians.  That means if 10,000 soldiers lost their lives, over 100,000 civilians are dead.  It seems the people we try to save or protect suffer the most as a whole, we all suffer the same only with smaller numbers.  Our soldiers seeing this first hand carry this with them for there is no honor in those deaths as compared to fighting an equal on a battlefield.

Mon,  Blog 3:  Walking down lightly traveled roads as compared to being at the Boston Harbor I still am seen by closed to 2,000 drivers and have more of a chance to interact with people as I go.  I am surprised at times by the people who stop me, such as the woman in there 70′s and 80′s to tell me of there Grandsons that are in the Military and not the same anymore.  All experiences have an effect of some sort, but the experience of war generally doesn’t leave one with a lot of warm fuzzy feelings.  There is a perpetual dark cloud in her life now as she frets for loved ones whose lives she seems to no longer be part of.

June 9th, Tues:  On my stroll across this great land it has been brought to my attention that I maybe insane, it is a question I ask myself usually at the start of each day.  I take this as a good sign that I am sane for I am told if you think your sane there is a good chance you really are crazy.  When you here the story’s I do and see the broken lives I do I get impatient for everyday that goes by more good people have killed themselves, some quickly and others slowly and taking the innocent down with them.  Is it so crazy to want that to change right now, today instead of waiting and saying in God’s time as families are destroyed?

Wed, June 11: Today I met a family angry for the premature lose of a husband and father, a veteran that suffered from agent orange and had to fight to get benefits and care only to die of cancer.  I would think things like that make it hard for people to believe in there government, they definitely don’t.  Just 10 minutes walking from this encounter I met a woman in her 60′s that stopped her truck, rolling down her window she said, I saw your sign it moved me, she paused then said my son killed himself, it was on the news, she reached out her hand to me, I held it as she cried.  I did nothing but share that moment in silence, who can console a mothers lose? 
 
June 12, 2010 Thursday:  On my way through Pomfret I saw a town work crew repairing a seHow is everything going with you and what are you up to? We started our walk June 1st at the monument for the minuteman where the first shot was fired that started the revolution in Concord. We will be in NY around the 26th of June.  We are looking for a place to park our camper and maybe get picked up and dropped of along my route for a few days as well as being able to talk to any group of people interested in what we are doing. This walk is very hard at times, when I met a young man whose brother had committed suicide and I share his pain in hopes it will lighten his burden.  There are lighter moments, but these sorrowful ones are very heavy action of the road, they took a moment and check me out, read the sign and continue to work.  When I got to them I ask them if they would sign our petition, they were silent for a spell then one man comes up to me snatching it, says he will sign it.  The other guys asked him if he needed help spelling his name, getting a laugh, but they all signed it when the foremen came over asking in a gruff voice, whats going on here?  When I tell him I was a Marine, he said, Semper Fi, shook my hand and signed.   In the interest of being politically incorrect I told them a Marine joke and was about to leave when one of the guys asked if he could sign too.  I said, I’d love for you to sign…I meant that in a manly way, he said don’t worry.  As the foremen went behind me, he said let me squeeze by, when the other guy
said, in a manly way of course as I walked on to the next town.

June 13, Friday:  Walking over a bridge into North Windham a man pulled over in front of me, got out of his car and walked towards me, asking if I was a veteran, I said yes, he asked if I knew anyone that committed suicide, I said yes.  He said, I feel for your lose; are those number for all wars?  I said it is all the soldiers from any war.  He said, I am in the Army Reserves and got out of active duty 2007, your numbers are squed it is only 2 a week from the present war not 18 a day.  They give us lots of counseling and I still am in it.  I said I am not arguing that they don’t do something, just that it can be improved, he agreed that there are flaws, wished me luck but, wouldn’t sign the petition. As I walked away, I wondered was I on a fools mission?  Just a few weeks ago in the Wall St Journel they mentioned the number, wonder why the numbers seem to be different?  If it is only 2 a week and they have all these programs everyone gets except for the flaw he touched on briefly which was soldiers lying to get home as soon as possible when state side, not to mention those getting anything other then an honorable discharge.  Then I thought if it was my son, one death in my life time would be to many, so I walked on for another ten minutes when a woman pulled over, got out of her car, stood there looking at me and crying.  Her son had come home on his first leave from overseas diagnosed with PTSD and was redeployed.  She held me in her arms and cried, how do I tell that woman numbers are squeed, only 2 die a week, it’s OK?  I can not, not walk, what if that was my son?  This is the hardest part of the journey, to look into the eyes of a mother who has lost or fears to lose a child, the broken glass, poison ivy, sore feet and rain are nothing compared to this.

Sat:  I am in a little town called Columbia on the green of the Town Hall when a man wearing a Korean Vet hat and t shirt walks by.  I
ask him if he would like to sign our petition, he angrily asked if I was one of those sissy Democrats that thinks they can speed their way out of everything and is afraid of war.  I said I am not arguing politics, I was a Marine and it looks like we will be fighting a long time.  If we are going to fight we might as well do the right thing by our soldiers.  He apologized, but wouldn’t sign the petition, saying it wouldn’t do any good any way.  This issue isn’t about politics it’s about what is right.

June 14, Monday:  An overcast day, great for walking through the bumper crop of poison ivy, the cash crop of the North East.  Finding an American Legion Hall at 10 am with all the flags and a few cars parked outside, I thought I would drop in and get some signatures for our cause.  Walking up to the door I heard lively discussions going on, as I walked in and adjusted my eyes to the dark the sound of silence greeted me and as my eyes focused I saw men looking at me sideways.  I walked up to the bar, looking at each of them I told them we are gathering signatures for a petition getting mandatory  counseling, they were so still and quite that it was as if I had stepped into a wax museum.  I had  deja vu, I saw myself at the pulpit with the choir present as I delivered my sermon polishing the alter as I dragged 8oz’s of holy water at a time across it in the belief that in its consumption I could wipe out the past.  Only to find the next day it never consumed the past only made it hazy.  My sermons all had the same moral, it’s not my fault, I didn’t do it.  When I opened my mouth to talk to them I know I had invaded their sanctuary, a place where no action was necessary, I had done the unspeakable, I had called them to action, peer pressure froze them in place.  I left our petition on their alter giving them a chance to look it over.  Leaving I didn’t hear a murmur till I got out side the door, the politically correct amount of time passed before one is allowed to talk behind ones back. I am not against drinking, I am an advocate of priorities, which
is more important, family or ones indulgences? A piece up the road a woman pulled up behind me and jumping out of her car with a smile said, I just have to know what you are doing. After I told her, her smile faded and she told me she is on a call line for the church and said with tears in her eyes, I can’t tell you how many times I get calls from mothers saying, pray that my son comes
home the way he left; it’s never going to happen but I pray.  All things change people, good and bad, it’s not like going to summer camp for ice cream.  She cried and kissed me on the cheek before we parted.

June 15, Tuesday:  I start off my day planning my route and carrying a map which I look at so many times during the day that I wear holes in it. I was to make a turn near the center of town to continue on my way across the country. Well at about 10 am I find myself in front of a park and as I get a woman on her coffee break to sign my petition I hear and see a bunch of homeless men drinking and raising hell. I was going to leave without speaking to them, thinking why bother, till one of them waved me back. When I get to them they ask me what I'm doing, when I tell them, they all sign my petition and tell me of their service in the military and the loved ones they lost, gave me money and sent me on my way. One's brother had been in the USMC and came home with no legs only to die of an overdose. Another, a Marine said, You've inspired me to do something cause if you can walk barefoot across America, I can do something. I retraced my steps and realized I almost hit the sign with my head when I passed it the first time. At that moment I realized that I'm never lost I just don't always know where I am and that if God has a plan there isn't anything I'm going to do to change it.

June 16 wed: I was greeted by some of Conn finest local officers who had gotten a call from a driver that said I was going to commit suicide.  After checking me out and hearing my story they said the support what I do, but are able to sign as they are working.  I said, not to worry, you can go on line and sign up when you are off duty. One officer told me I should get a pair of shoes.  I told him how I had stopped wearing them as a memorial for those I had know.  Now it is more out of respect for those that have  consecrated this ground with their blood.  Not to mention the tears of all the mothers that have soaked this country for that blood.  That collateral damage where they don’t shine as bright as they once had for a piece of them has died as well goes unsaid, but not unnoticed and with out consequences. A mother walked up to me today and said her boy was home (we will always be boys to the women that raised us) from the war.  He can’t sleep on a bed with covers over him.  She was anxious for him to be home and he isn’t back yet and he may never be the way she remembered him.  I don’t think everything needs a price, what is wrong with doing the right thing?

2010 June, Thur 17:  Having forgotten to take my water this morning I stopped at a gas station along.  It was a beautiful morning and as I opened the door I greeted the 2 women there with a harty, “It’s another day in paradise”, usually an ice breaking remark with total strangers.  After getting my water and turning to the counter their body language was telling me they were a little apprehensive.  I asked if they would like to sign the petition, at which the counter woman tap danced around a no and the other looking at her feet saying she was ok.  Feeling the tension of the moment I blurt out the first thing that came to mind in an attempt to put them at ease, “It’s ok to be afraid”.  It seemed to rachet up the fear level a notch so I figured it was a good time to leave. About half an hour later when I stopped outside a plumbing store to get some signatures a man went by turned around and came back to
talk to me.  He told me he was a disabled Vet that helped others get aid from the V.A., he said, “I have something I want to show you that is very important to me”, he opened his wallet and pulled out a card for me to look at, “I am very proud of this”, it was his membership card showing he had been President of the Disabled Veterans in this area.  He said, “They don’t do enough”.  I am glad they do anything for that gives us something to build on, if we only work together. I told him I am doing this with the sign barefoot to capture people imagination so that the press will pick up on it to get the attention.  He said, “You’re already creating a splash, I stopped into the gas station where you got water and the 2 women there were talking about you saying you wanted them to sign a petition and they thought you were a little strange.  I told them all Veterans are a little strange. I said I would sign the petition so they said you left 15 minutes ago, so here I am. All those that have been in the Military are going to be different then those that haven’t, those that have been in combat will be different than either one of them.  That is because of experience, how we deal with it and internalize it, it has an effect.  So how can someone that has never had those experience relate to one that has?  I don’t care how many movies you see or books you read it is nothing like the experience, I get irritated when someone tells me anyone who
signs up for the military knows what they are getting into.  That's like saying when you drive in a car with your family, you get into an accident and everyone is killed but you whats the big deal you knew that accidents happen.

June 18, Friday:  Everyday is different and everyone reacts differently and todays crowd was a tough crowd.  I had a lot of women turn me down and one made me laugh for she said with a smile that she didn’t have a minute to spare.  Who spared a minute for her and does she have a time account that she can go to and make a withdrawal?  I was at a seminar that said if you ask a person why, usually their 3rd answer was the truth, I wonder what the truth was?  I don’t care, it doesn’t matter to me, so what, etc.  I would bet anything they think it has nothing to do with their little world, but it does in so many ways. A man signing my petition said he had been in ROTC IN 1971 got switched to active duty but was never sent and had seen some of his friends die in training.  He said, I have flashback and I never even saw combat, my son was in the Marines, with the first to be in Quat, when he got home I told him, you think your fine now but, your going to counseling.  His son did and was glad he did.  I asked if he wanted one of my pins, he said, yes, but I wont wear it, then he stepped back and looked at me and said if you can carry a sign across the country barefoot, I guess I could wear a pin, and he put it on. Channel 8 gave us some coverage today, I found it difficult to ,try to get everything out in a way that makes an impact in a few minutes.  I am sure they will cut it up and show a minute if I am lucky and I am grateful for anything I get to help make a difference. Valeria and I shared our lunch with 2 homeless women who had come over seeing our camper with the long walk home printed on the side. One’s husband had been a Marine who died several years ago in his late
50′s of a heart condition and after a few months of not paying rent found herself and dog out on the street.  The other was missing a leg, her husband died while she was in rehab and found herself a tent to live in that she shared with her new found friend.  Am I stretching to think that her husband had died as a cause of agent orange, if he didn’t would she be homeless today, more unnecessary collateral damage. When I see homeless people I am uncomfortable that that could happen in this country, where I was brought up that we were number 1, the best; is this what the best does, how can this be? I also got a call from Jennifer, a 23 year old whose website is who offers programs for vets giving them alternative methods to deal with the stress when they get home.  She is an inspiration to me, to be so young, see a need and do something about it, she gives me hope. 

Sat, June 19:  Today one of the things that struct me is the number of angry young veterans who cursed at me and give me the finger.  I understand their anger as I had whalloed in it for years blaming everyone else.  When I got discharged getting home I saw the world in a different way.  Maybe I wasn’t naive as I had been before, saw the world in a different way and focused on all the things outside of my self.  If only all of that would change everything would be alright. I didn’t realize nothing had changed and I could find anything I wanted around me to make me right.  The real change came about for me when I went within, that is all I have the power for.  If we give those coming back the tools to look inside, the guidance and support they have a better chance.  I understand their anger, I was angry for 33 years and it didn’t do a bit of good.

Sun, June 20:  I walk through a surreal area reminding me of a Mad Max movie, closed factories that take up blocks with the windows busted out and garbage of all types strewn about.  Homeless wondering the streets, seemingly aimless, shrouded in the smell of urine and alcohol.  From there I walk through an area where I got lost and no one I walk up to understood English.  It is a third world country within our borders. This is what our soldiers fight to protect, fewer opportunity, closed factories and a country that is split into factions? I have heard that there are 400,000 homeless in the our country of which supposedly 20 to 40% are veterans, depending on whose study you look at.  If that is the case, it looks like a majority of them migrate to Conn. for the summer.  A lot of people see the homeless as people who have given up, I wonder if it isn’t us who have given up on them by allowing our children to come home from a war, not preparing them for the civilian world and offering them work?
 
June 21, Monday:  This morning before my feet hit the pavement as I was about to be dropped off where I ended yesterday our, “take one” box blew off the side of the camper.  By the time we turned around to go retrieve it an man had stopped to pick them up and when I got there he told me the only reason he stopped was because if he didn’t pick them up now he would be doing it later.  I thanked him and told him that the forms were our petitions and what they were for.  He barked at me, we didn’t get anything when we came back from Nam.  I said I didn’t want it to happen again.  I thought to myself just because there was an injustice over 40 years ago doesn’t mean we should repeat it because we went through it, is that fair?  I asked him to sign it, he grumbled and left angrily as he left rubber on the road. Not more then 30 minutes later as I was massaging the pavement with my feet I came upon a foreigner who was singing a prayer as he read his book.  I thought all life is a spiritual journey because I live my life according to my beliefs which I hold to be truths, I hope my truths change until I have “The Truth”.  The man that was angry, his truth was that he was done wrong and he was but, till he can except any responsibility he will be trapped.  That was me years ago and people that meet me would wish evil upon me which didn’t matter for no one could hurt me more then I hurt myself, I had to be with me
24/7 they only had brief encounters. Today I had people blow me off and for some reason I wanted to say, I hope your son goes to war.   I stopped myself for they had never had the experience of having lost a loved one needlessly and I hoped they never do, how do I get them to understand that feeling so they can support those to?

June 22, 2010
by thelongwalkhomeronzalesk

iHi Ron. Great to meet you yesterday although it was brief. Here is the PDF of today’s Hour newspaper. Thanks for everything yesterday and good luck Ron —AlexAlex von Kleydorff/Photographer
The Hour Publishing Co.
The Hour/The Stamford Times/The Wilton Villager
Photo Desk, 1-203-354-1022
avonkleydorff@thehour.com

The Hour Newspapers
346 Main Avenue
Norwalk, CT 06851
http://www.thehour.com
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http://thestamfordtimes.com

Thurs, June 24:  Almost at the end of my walk as I look across the street a young man is staring at me, when I make eye contact he runs across the street to me as if nothing else in the world existed.  When he got to me he said, were you in Viet Nom.  I said, no.  His
shoulders sagged, he got quite, saying he was in Hano as his eyes stopped searching mine for an answer I couldn’t give him.  As I looked at him I realized he was a Viet Nomies with a look in his eyes I had seen one other time while diving for bodies off a boat that sank.  I was unable to find the bodies, the family came to talk to me, they wanted to know, but I was unable to put their hopes and fears to rest; they had the same look in their eyes.  The civilians in a war are the only group in the race without a pony. 

Fri, June 25:  Today I didn’t walk, but I happened to be in Manhassatt with a friend of mine, a upscale neighborhood where we check out the senior prom location.  It seems they save for 4 years and the parents work 2 weeks on bringing a theme to life for the prom.  The purpose is the protect the children from themselves with drinking, drugs and teen pregnancy.  It seemed alien to me to spend that kind of money and time on a one time deal, I didn’t grow up in that time or neighborhood. How ironic the parents band together to protect one anothers children and in a matter of a year or two it seems all that is forgotten as a few go to and come home from war’s and there is no safety net to catch them as large as the ones Mothers and Fathers banding together can build. 

Sat, June 26  I am near the Yankee Stadium which is sheer noise and amass of humanity.  I am talking to a couple to get directions and about our cause which they endorse by signing the petition when a young man comes running up to us.  He politely waits till they were done and says that he saw me pass the restaurant he was in waiting to be served, seeing the website he looked it up.  Soon as he finished reading it he ran out to catch me to sign the petition and thank me for what I was doing saying it was an honor to shake my hand.

Sun, June 27  Today I walked Riverside Dr and come upon a sanitation worker with a sour puss as he cleans up dog feces, he spots me so I walk over and talk to him about our cause, saying why and ask him to sign.  He says yes and tells me about his time in the National Guard and the feeling of being discarded when his time was up.  He says he should be doing what I am and that I made his day as I leave him with a smile on his face. At the Trump Towers the doorman comes out and asks what I am up to, after I tell him he signs and says he was Marine Force Recon. I am at the Intrepid being filmed when the Security Guards come and ask if I am protesting, I tell them no and what I am doing, they agree with what we are doing and walk back to their building.  Leaving there I run into 2 clusters of Cops and talking with them they sign the petition and one was a Marine who got out recently.  A man at the
park was playing the bag pipes, I asked if he would play the Marine Corps Hymn, he did and I cried as the music went through me.
Finally I made it to Ground Zero and wondered how our world has changed?  I am in a generation that will have known the USA before 911 and the oil spill, what will the generation after me have to say to the generation following them about an America that is alien to them?

June 28:  I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge for the first time which was unlike anything I had expected.  The view was phenomenal, a nice breeze and I didn’t get that sense of being insignificant by the sheer mass of size and numbers in the city.  Only on the bridge for minutes I met my first skinhead.  As he was coming close with his shirt off, shaven head and tattoo’s across his stomach as well as all over! thought he was a fighter  When he came closer I was staring at his stomach to see what it said, being almost legally blind in most states that was pretty close.  When I was close enough which was about 4 to 6 feet I saw that it said “fuck the world”.  Thinking he might not be a fighter I looked up into his face and knew he wasn’t as I could feel hate and rage emirate out from him.  He yelled something at me which I thought was Russian so I greeted him in Polish. He looked at me confused so I said I thought you were Russian or Polish since I didn’t understand you.  He walked away so I went on.  The next instant he runs up to me, looks into my eyes and yells repent, I said I am. then he yelled pray to xxxx (a name I didn’t understand) then left.  I hadn’t felt so much rage in years, how had his parents showed up, who were they? Not far from there I met an African woman who saw the sign,
looked at me and said they will open their eyes in hell.  I thought, they already were in hell.  A Korean Vet told me they should tough it out he did and anyway they get paid a lot more then he did so that’s just to bad.  I stopped into a deli for a drink and talked to the two owners who were Muslim and we talked a little religion and politics. We agreed on almost everything and I said it was to bad it seems we spend so much time focusing on our differences and not out similarities.  They gave me $60, I hadn’t asked and was surprised they gave when others I thought would, didn’t.

June 29:  Communication and how they are taken is probably the root of most fights.  My skills are poor as I have trouble getting out clearly what I want people to understand, especially in a relationship with a woman.  One of my biggest faults is that I have expectations of those I am closely involved with, not acknowledging what they do expecting them to read my mind.  Just like my relationship with my representatives, I expect them to do the right thing and know what that is.  When my relationship with them is for them to do what I tell them.  Since I hadn’t told them what to do they do what ever they want.  The corporations understand this, that is why they have lobbyist to tell them what they want as well as send gifts; why do I act surprised when they do what the corporations want? 

June 30:  A man on the road crew on Staten Island told me as he was working a man came out of his house to ask about fixing the flood on his road when it rained heavy.  He told him to go to the city hall, the man said I work for the city, I am a cop.  He said it hadn’t helped and went on to say that he had been in the military then became a cop when he got home and was at 9/11 where he got cancer and the state was trying to buy him off for $12,000.  The road worker was so ashamed and he said I wanted to help, but what could he do.  He was discouraged with what seemed a break down in the system.  I get that sense from a lot of people that the system just doesn’t seem to work unless you have lots of money or connections.

June 31:  I got an email saying my going barefoot is a cry for help. I thought about it, and yes it is a cry for help.  I am asking for
your help in the form of a letter, starting a support group in your neighborhood, changing the way you think or operate in your world making a difference.  Even if that change is for one person or one letter, it is a change that changes the world.

July 1:   When you take the route we do through the little towns you see lots of churches and cemeteries.  They are almost like museums, a memory of a time long gone for they are mostly empty and the cemeteries are visited infrequently.  It was the corner stone with which our country was built and now it seems inconsequential.  Are we evolving or are we off coarse?  The banks and Mall are well manufactured and full of life, is this the direction we have gone or is it just the observations of a man walking across the country?

July 2:  I came up to a group of young men, maybe 16 yrs old or 17, happy without a care in the world, maybe it was an air of naivety.
How quick that could change if they were sent 1,000′s of miles away to endure stress they weren’t raised for.  In a few years what would those faces look like.

July 3:   As I walked by an adult home a man smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee waved me over and asked what I was doing.  After I told him he said, I believe in what you are doing for I have PTSD and have been going to counseling for it for 30 years.  I asked him about it, he said, “I won’t go there”, then proceeded to tell me about all his friends stories about PTSD.  He said he can’t sleep or talk about his past, so how can he ever come to terms with it if he will never speak about it?

Sat, July 3rd:  Walking to Neshamic in NJ a young man pulls over hops out of his car comes across the street and asks me what I am up to.  I tell him what I am doing and why and he shares that he was in the Army already taking medication for PTSD and how they ignored him and discharged him.  He told me his brother is in the Marines.  I said make sure he gets the programs that they have to help him make the transition.  I tell him I don’t blame anyone but myself for what is going on for I had allowed it to happen and now I am doing my best to change things.  We shook hands and he left signing our petition. When I arrived back to the camper after roasting my soles Valeria told me I just got an email.It read as follows; I was just discharged from the military recently, 6 by 2, I haven’t cried in 8 years.  Even after my father’s passing 6 years ago, I just held it in… I cried today.

Thank you and God speed.

July 4:  It was close to 100 today, a good day for a force march. After I got done walking we went to the Deleware River where George Washington crossed on Dec 26th.  We even had George Washington (the actor) sign it, I wonder what he would do today if he was here and how bad of an issue was it.  His army was mostly untrained farmers fighting for freedom of religion and taxation.  When you fight for you and your families life does that lessen the stress induced by war?

July 5:  Another 100 degree day, walking is like cooking bacon.  In Lambertville I met a husband and wife that after hearing about our petition and where I was headed they wanted to pray over me, I said OK, after they were done he said we want to give you something but, we have no money on us.  I said, that’s alright for you have given me a pray and your signature and we parted our ways.  A few miles up the road they pull up besides me and get out saying we’re glad we found you, we found this money in the car and want you to have it for a meal.  They got back in their car and left, those are the people that are my heroes.

Tues, July 6:  I started late which makes a difference in a heat wave giving the asphalt more time to heat up, the difference on your
toaster from light to burnt.  At the end of the day we brought our camper to get the air conditioner repaired and while there I talked to a customer.  He wondered why I did what I was doing, was it to write a book, make money, get attention, was it all ego based?  I said if writing a book helped to get the attention and money to realize my dream I would do it and I don’t care if I get credit for doing it, long as it gets done.  He asked what he could do that would make a difference.  I said we all have something that we feel strongly about, do that, it may not be glorious but, at least you won’t die saying I should have and you never know about the lives you touch by how you show up.

Wed, July 7:  Walking past a little shopping center a guy with Marine Corps plates steps out of his car saying that sign is a little hard to miss, what are you doing?  I tell him and say that I allow people to talk about things they are afraid to tell others and it seems to help when they can talk about it.  He told me that he has been fortunate in business so when ever he travels and sees a soldier coming home he buys him a meal so that he will know someone cares.  We both agreed that when they come home they have changed because of their experiences and have trouble sharing with others because they think that no one else would, or it isn’t something that is talked about, but if it isn’t talked about it may fester.

Thurs, July 8:  Minding my own business walking down the wrong road a cop pulls up and asks me where I am going, I say to California, he said not this way.  I show him my map then he explains that I hadn’t made it to that spot yet because the with the two towns here it is hard to know where one starts and the other ends.  He signs the petition after we talk about the suicides, saying it seems the government wants to close its eyes to what is going on.  He tells me his daughter is in the Army, she joined when she was 25 so she is more mature then a lot of the others.  They have fire watch like we had when I was in, but now one of the reasons is to ensure that they don’t try to hurt themselves.
 
Fri, July 9:  This part of Penn was a little frustrating for me as I want to go in a straight line from point A to B and that wasn’t
happening as I had to go North and East to go South and West.  The houses I pass with acres of mowed lawns would make a golf course if 3 yards were put together.  In a narrow part of the road a woman stopped dead in the road to ask me what I was doing as the driver behind her laid on his horn from way back and tore around her.  I remember when the world evolved around me and anything that interfered, I would think, “What were they thinking”?  She said, boy he was angry after I waved her off the road.  I told her what we are doing and she said she was inspired to tell her friends. Further down the road I was interviewed by channel 69 whose cameraman’s son shares my birthday, Nov. 11.  We talked about how having a child changed our lives and the feeling we got when they would come running to us calling us Dad, feeling like a hero.  I said when I was young my father wanted me to be his hero for he would tell me what to do and not to do, but he didn’t do it.  I had wanted him to be my hero by showing me, not telling me.  It would be nice if our leaders could be our hero’s again.July 10 Sat:  I walked in the rain all day and was grateful for the
change.  I had a counselor sign the petition who told me that the Marines are pre-screening the recruits to see if they would be prone to PTSD.  How is that possible as a human being; we are basically built the same in that extreme stress has an effect as well as any new experience having an impact.  You add coming home to no job and a broken relationship, that’s a recipe for disaster.  Then he went on to say that they are calling this Obama’s War, I cut in and said no this is our War, did we elect politicians to use them as scapegoats so we can be victums and not be responsible?  I am America, we are America, if we were  all doing the right thing we wouldn’t have this problem, aren’t we the Government?

July, 11 Sun:  There are more churches then bars in this area, one town is called Church Town and it lives up to its name.  Most business’s are closed like the old days all the houses are well kept and the lawns manicured and the only people working are those milking cows and ministers preparing service. As I walk past one of these homes there is a man on his porch sitting as if a King looking out over his domain with a smile on his face.  I ask if he would sign our petition, he waves me off as if he was interrupted by a peasant.  I think what a way to thank his men for his slice of heaven when a few steps away I read one of the billboards in front of a church.  It reads, He who has the Lord needs nothing else.  I wonder to myself, are they saying that before or after they already have a family, food, water and shelter?  That is an easy statement to make after you have all you need, what about these men and women coming home to no job and having lost their family.  Are they the saints, living under bridges having lost all, but God?
Another few blocks and I get a group of men by a Motel to sign mand they tell me how a local church put together some money to get a room for a young man who has come home from the war and been unable to find work for 2 months.   Is there anything wrong with having the barest necessities such as food and a roof over ones head or are those unnecessary to one that has God?  I think the God they talk of is the one that greets you at death when we have no need of anything.  Maybe it isn’t so much that people lose faith in God but, faith in their fellow man that say they believe in God.  If I believed in God how could I let this happen to my fellow man?

July 12, Mon: In Lancaster I thought I got lost, passed a store and went back to it which is something I rarely do.  I do not like to
waste steps and back tracking would fit that category, but it seemed like the right thing to do.  Going inside the cashier, a small Indian woman looked at me funny when I put some fruit on the counter and asked to use the bathroom.  She said, No, it’s not for public use. I replied that I was on foot walking across the country and described the petition.  Her expression changed and she said, I have to let you use the bathroom.  When I came out she said, you should hate me, I have judged you, I said, I don’t.  Then she cried, my son is 16 years old and in prison for life without parole, he’s a good boy, he didn’t kill anyone.  You give me hope, to keep fighting for my son, don’t you quite on me.  I cried and said I wouldn’t, she said, I know you wont, then she kissed me before I left. I realize now that I am never lost, I just may not always know where I am.  This walk has become more then getting people to sign a
petition, it is about giving hope and letting people know someone cares.

July 13, Tues:  A man was standing outside a restaurant, taking a break from working.  I approached him telling him what we were doing, he didn’t want to sign because he didn’t want to get involved.  If you live in this country, weather or not you like it, your involved.  A block from here another man said, not today; I said there is no tomorrow and he looked at me, startled.

July 14, Wed:  It rained all day, due to modifications on my sign I was able to stay drier and keep the petition from getting soaked.  Meet a young man working at the gas station with a Marine Corps pin on and I asked who he had in, he replied, hopefully me.  He was at that man boy stage where every thing is new, exciting with no down sides.  I asked him to look at our site, hopefully by the time he goes in we will have our points in place so that he will be able to return home more capable to take advantage of programs the government offers after discharge.

July 15, Thur:  Walking through a small section of York where it seemed the memo never made it about keeping Penn beautiful, the sidewalk was littered with broken glass, strewn with garbage and you could smell urine.  A young black man came over to me to ask who are Vets, I told him they were soldiers.  Then he asked why are they committing suicide, I told him because they have done and seen things they never thought they would, they have killed and then have to deal with it.  Then come home unable to get a job, lose their family and lose hope.  He said, word, I know what your talking about, I have killed and know what your talking about, it’s something you’ve done and can’t put it back, you wished you could.  He signed and then brought it over to his friends
sitting in their car, men and women, black and white drunk, still drinking, blasting music at 6am, counting  a wad of cash and had them all sign.  It seems he was the big dog on the block, anyone coming our way came up to show him respect before they went on.

July 16, Fri:  I walked into a road crew of 3 men troweling a pour of concrete to the curb on a new expansion of highway.  After having told them what I was doing they all signed it.  When I walked away the foreman walked with me and said, my son committed suicide, he wasn’t in the military, he found his girl cheating on him.  I said, it is easier to except one dying of an illness or an accident but, when they die from suicide the family carries guilt and blames themselves that it was their fault.  He nodded his head in agreement. You don’t have to be in the military or the family of one in the military to experiences all those feelings.  You just have to be human, we are all alike, it doesn’t do any good to make it seem that only military personnel experience PTSD.  They aren’t broken, they are just a person dealing with overwhelming experience.  Just like us they need to know they aren’t alone and someone cares.  It is a myth that anyone comes home unwounded from a war.

July 17, Sat:  I came upon a yard sale and asked for water, they gave me water, food and money after I told them what I was doing.  What it was all about was off there radar screen, they had no relatives in the military, it didn’t seem to effect their daily life, and they knew of no one that committed suicide.  As we talked they said they couldn’t imagine what our young men and women go through and you would think that the people that would be in the streets for change would be the survivors of those that committed suicide.  I said the reason they aren’t is because they carry the burden of guilt, shame, thinking it is somehow their fault and it is taboo to talk about.  Well I think we better start talking because the figures are higher then published because they are hidden by untimely deaths, accidents, and other disguises. We must help them by reaching out to them, letting them know
someone cares, giving them hope.  The strong help the innocent and naive, the weak take advantage of them.

July 18, Sunday:  We made a detour and went to Shanksville to speak at Flight 93 Memorial Church.  Father Al put us up in his house, feed us and had a place for the camper.  I was impressed by his passion for the people that had died on that flight, he devoted his life to make sure they are not forgotten.  To stand at the site then go to the church one makes a connection with those passengers, putting a life I could feel.

July 19, Monday: We spent the day with Father Al and went to the site of Flight 93's crash.

July 20, Tuesday:  In the little town of Fairfield PA I was invited by the police to the town office.  I always enjoy and good invitation,
when I arrived they wanted to know what was up.  This is where I learned that their concern was that I might be soliciting without a
permit.  I had told them I was getting signatures to a petition and told her why she raced out of the room and came back red eyed to sign the petition.  She had said she was an Army Brate and had dated a lot of messed up servicemen. Channel 8 interviewed me then the cameraman shared that his brother and nephew had been over in Desert Storm, it had an effect. They are both doing OK, but have changed.

July 21, Wed:  Leaving Fairfield PA  I walked down a road so windy that I had to slow down and I am on foot.  It was a beautiful road
with hardly any traffic.  One of the few people I met told me that his friend had recently been killed by a veteran who had come back and had a flashback.  He sat there in his truck and slowly shook his head as he quietly said, he didn’t even know that he had killed him.  This epidemic we have reaches to places you think would be safe from the reaches of a war most of us don’t even hear about. At the end of my day when I get a chance I like to go to a movie, for the change of pace, escape reality and the air conditioning. After buying my tickets I talked to two women asking what they were seeing and as usual I get around to asking them to sign the petition. One of the women said, my friends son had come home safe from the war then recently committed suicide.  How many people do I pass on the street who are directly impacted by these soldiers?  They don’t have any special look, they seem normal, it could be anybody. This weekend Valeria and I will be speaking on the steps of the Capitol, both Saturday and Sunday, if you are in the neighborhood or have family or friends nearby please drop by.

July 22:  Early this morning as my feet get damp with dew a car pulls over and the woman in it wants to know what I am doing.  She is looking for an answer, for hope, you see her son has just come home from the War and is having a hard time of it.  She is a nervous happy for at least she can see someone cares and is doing something no matter how small it is. These are the people that stop in the middle of traffic because they have a major investment in this issue their child. As I end my walk at a picnic bench under an awning where several men are sitting, one gets up and walks away as I say what I am doing, he is annoyed, saying I am a Vet, I said so am I.  I understand his annoyance as he is one of the many unappreciated that is an asset to America.  The ones we don’t acknowledge because we expect it of them, that is what they are supposed to do.  How long does one stay in a relationship if day after day they go unnoticed?

July 23, Friday:  Today I stopped at a yard sale where after signing the petition she told me it was going to be 100 degrees and gave me a bottle of water.  I thanked her for the water and said thanks for telling me the temperature.  It seems if I don’t know how hot it is it doesn’t bother me as much because I’m not thinking about it.  Just like if I am not reminded of a painful or traumatic situation from the past it doesn’t bother me because it doesn’t come up. I stopped at another yard sale, one of those held in desperation,
they need to pay the rent.  Two families moved in together so there are 6 kids and 4 adults in a one family house, inside it looked like an explosion at a Kids are Us store.  One man is out of work, the other a 42 year old vet that has had several heart attacks and is
fighting to get his veteran benefits.  The American Dream. A 100 yards away a woman pulls over all excited, jumps out and says is this about the Veterinarians because of the virus found in both the cats and dogs feces that cause depression and suicide.  I said
no it is about the soldiers.  After I said that her eyes got wide, I could see she was covered in goose bumps and started to cry as she
said over and over again, God, I am so sorry, God, I am so sorry. This is awful, I was supposed to be here to hear this, I am so sorry, what you are doing is so important.

July 24, Saturday:  We spoke on the lawn before the capitol, the seat of power in this country.  It was 105 degrees where the only people that came were tourist that happen to pass by and those that came because they were in the event.  People are sick an tired of hearing about Veterans and their plight because it is embarrassing to them and most people don’t have a big investment in it, like an immediate loved one. I can’t get passionate about something until I feel it affects me and there are so many causes out there that I have to prioritize them. I feel that suicide is one of the major underlying issues that effects all others because it is an attitude that going unchecked will make it impossible to save a whale, the planet or anything else because how we feel about ourselves and one another reflects in all things around us.  What I see doesn’t look too good.

July 25, Sunday:  We have friends taxing us around at a big inconvenience to themselves and they wished they could do more.  When I speak to an empty lawn, I speak to those that believe in me, because they matter to me. A teenager came up to me after I spoke and said, I just wanted the honor of shaking your hand.  It mattered to him.

July 26, Monday:  We stopped in a bloom grocery store on the way back to where I stopped walking.  The Deli manager and I talked and when I told her what I was doing she cried.  She said I was born into a military family, my father and grandfather were in the military and I worked for Lockheed for 17 years.  2 years after 9-11 my son who was still in school said, I’m going to be just like you and go into the military.  She said she was shocked because they would take my little boy and kill him just like they dragged our three soldiers through the streets and hung them on a bridge.  The next day she quite and her son asked why and she said I don’t want you to go.

July 27, Tues:  In West Virgina I was surprised about how resistant or negative so many people were today.  One lady wanted to call the police another man said they shouldn’t get anything his brother-in-law didn’t they joined the service to get a job just like him (he is working on a road crew, if they are shooting at him I don’t want to work for this town).  I asked if he was in, he said, no, so I left him with his veins popping out of his neck and his eyes bulging.  I know he feels it is unfair that his brother in law didn’t get anything, but that doesn’t make it right to Deni help to anyone else. Up the road I meet a man pruning trees, he was a Green Beret who was one of the first 242 over in Nom. He or his brother in laws didn’t get any help , one who had committed suicide, but he said, something should be done for these boys, they shouldn’t have to go through that. Not to far down the road 3 men where repairing fence, I asked them to sign, it was quite for a moment then the youngest said, Hell yes I’ll sign that, my buddy came home from Afghanistan and is all messed up. The other two signed, one of them had been silent the whole time then said his son came back and committed suicide last year. If this was a virus killing more then 1 person every 10 miles it would be an epidemic and our country would throw so much money at it you thought it grew on trees.  It’s the silent epidemic no one talks about that is eroding the very fabric of this nation.

July 28, Wed:  On my path this morning I met a State Trooper from the State of Virginia.  They received a call, someone said that I was going to commit suicide.  He read my sign and said, it seems they didn’t read the whole thing.  We talked awhile, he said, I love my job, I get to help people in crisis, it may not be one to me, but to them it is.  I said I was glad he could see it that way because I want people to be able to see that with our military, a large number of people in crisis.  Most of America doesn’t seem to understand what these soldiers go through when they get home, they don’t share that experience. A little further on my path I stopped a man as he was putting tools in his car and asked him to sigh.  He said, I had two sons in the USMC I will sign, they’ve never been the same, it ain’t right. When I looked in his eyes it seemed there was a hallow spot.  The last person to realize they have a problem is them, everyone else knew along time ago.  You will never be the same again, but we can get help to cope with the situation.

July 29, Thurs:  We are in Middleville VA and it is beautiful, hot and a lot of factories alongside of Revolutionary History.  A man told me how when he was just a kid ridding his bike a veteran drove up to him putting a gun in his face screaming he could kill him for ridding on his property.  Another testimonial for some attitude readjustment when our loved ones get home.  Also today I had a lot of media support and people coming out of their homes to sign as I walked by. It is a big contrast to a few days ago where people ignored me and gave me lame excuses.  One woman had said to me, I don’t sign petitions, but I am with you.  After she hurried off I wondered how is she with me, is she walking with me, is she calling a politician, is she going to a rally, is she helping someone through a hard time who lost a loved one, is she donating, is she setting up a speaking engagement?  Or is she at my favorite podium the bar saying someone should do something about this, thinking she isn’t someone?

July 30, 2010
by thelongwalkhomeronzaleski

Ron,
Here are a few suggestions for organizations that might be interested
in supporting you.
http://www.dbsalliance.org -  Depression, Bi-polar support alliance
http://www.nami.org - National Association of Mental illnesses
http://www.iava.org - “Iraq Afghanistan Veterans of America”
http://www.afsp.org - American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
http://www.mentalhealthscreening.org -  They advocate a lot for depression screening
http://www.depressiontribe.com - Very large blog and forum for people with mental illnesses

Maybe some of these align more with what we are doing, but I think they are also relevant to your specific cause.  I would also suggest starting a facebook fan page.  Its great for updating people on where you are and for posting pictures. I just went out today and bought more walking gear to get started.  I am training and got up to 7.5 miles; I hope to hit 10 miles tomorrow morning!

Take care and keep in touch.
- David

David Ouimet
The Walk to Washington
(770) 826-0176

THE WALK
P.O. Box 220183
Saint Louis, MO 63122

Website: www.walktotwashington.org
Facebook: www.causes.com/causes/413944
Twitter: twitter.com/Walk2Washington
YouTube:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSPbIUpbbrg

July 30:  I usually have extremes on my walk and today was one of the greatest.  First a religious woman gave me 20 for our cause.  She is of the opinion that prayer is one thing that people can say without having to make a sacrifice and it is another prayer to back up those words with an effort.  It is more powerful then the first.  She did not preach to me for she sees God’s hand in what I do.
Not to far from there I stopped at a yard sale to ask for water. Telling them why I was walking with a sign he told me he had been a
POW and if I was raising money to assassinate that nigger president he would be glad to give.  He said it with a smile that said he was serious as a heart attack.  It doesn’t get much more opposite then that.

July 31:  Walking the mountains reminded me of being home on the coast where I could look out over the ocean and get a sense of vastness that I don’t get in cities.  Also it is quieter and the pace doesn’t give you indigestion. Out of this peace I was visited by two men in a truck that started to preach to me.  How the true Lord will come and wipe out all those that believe in the false lord, the one that worships money.  It seemed all the politicians were on that list.  I asked what have they done to help their brothers that have gone down the wrong path, they said preach.  I said why don’t you show them by how you show up, if you love everyone why wouldn’t you want to save them?  It seems odd to me if they don’t worship money how could they have on new cloths driving a new truck and not give to support what I do after they said they believe in it?  I know homeless people that would think they
worshiped money. A woman stopped her car thanking me saying how her son had died a year ago in Afghanistan, wonder what he would have been like had he lived.  Half a mile from here I approach 2 men in a car with the air conditioner running, they roll down the window when I asked and when I told them what I was doing they rolled up their window.  I wished that they could see the mother I had just met and tell her they would rather not sigh the petition.

Aug 1: This is an email I got today from a woman in WV.  I saw Ron walking this week down US Rt 11 in WV. I was wondering what was going on. Our newspaper ran an article today regarding Ron’s quest for the veterans. As my family is preparing for my husband to be deployed in 4 weeks, I feel closer to this bill than I probably would otherwise. This is scary and I want my family intact! I asked a man to sign the petition, he said no, but I support it. I asked how, he said, I vote.  I wish that was enough.

Aug 2:  On a grassy stretch a young woman did a u turn and told me her mother is a nurse that works for the VA as she fights to keep from crying.  What you are doing is something that has to be done, one of our boys didn’t make it home alive, the people of this area lined up both side of highway 11 for 5 miles to honor him.  I am proud that this town came out for him.  Now it is time for us to come out for those that come home only to die here because of the war, by reaching out to those families.  To help those that carry a burden of guilt and shame by letting them talk and tell them it isn’t their fault, I had shared in that fault by standing by silently.

August 3, Tuesday:  I approached 2 men in their truck as they stopped at an intersection and asked them to sign the petition which they did gladly.  As they were signing the one man told me his son was home on leave from the Army after 3 months in boot camp.  He said while his son was in training 2 men had hung themselves and another had blown his head off while at the rifle range. I also ran into an WWII veteran who said he wasn’t given anything when he got out. Part of the problem is that when soldiers get out they don’t ask for anything feeling they don’t deserve it because they are alive and many of the friends aren’t.  It is something that should be given without asking for we only hurt the future of the country if those going to run it aren’t given everything we can to make them a great success.  Do you have to ask for your pay check every week and your benefits?
Tonight we are staying with a Marine who served during Korea.  He sought us out to help others get what he did not.

Wed, Aug 4:  Today was a day where a few people had stopped to tell me to keep up the good work.  A woman  stopped her car and ran across traffic to tell me she works as a nurse in the physic dept of the government.  Suicide is becoming an epidemic because our society doesn’t speak about causing it to go unresolved and unexposed. If I don’t turn the light on in the dark the boogieman has a place to exist.

August 5,  Thurs:  Spoke at Veterans for Peace breakfast meeting outside of Stanuton.  I was impressed not by the size of the group which was 6 men, not by their age which was 60 to 80 and not by how long they had been at it which was 10 years.  I was impress by all that combined with the fact that they were flexible and open enough to try something else and haven’t given up. They told us they had tried, forums, letters to the editors and were getting no where, what should they do.  I said, everyone is sick of talk and what good does it do to judge someone after the fact?  I said, if you want to do something help those that don’t have peace get
it, start a support group.  They are chapter 077 and are listed on our resource page, help them make a difference. Met a fellow Marine in Stanton at Wrights and as we talked he said, one thing in the Marine’s you may get shot up but you know someone is coming back for you cause were not leaving anyone behind.

August 6,  Fri:  Spoke to 6 boys ranging in ages 15 to 18 at a reform school.  They sat there tough with their arms crossed smirks and shit eating grins.  As I looked at them seeing myself, angry and defiant, how long ago was it my best friend went away and I stayed behind because I wasn’t caught? I told them I was where they were once and blamed my parents, my teachers, church, government and anyone but me.  Now I know that I was a victim and could never do anything until I took responsibility for my actions.  I asked if they had any questions, it was silent as they looked at one another for that unspoken approval.  Then I said, you
may just think I am just some crazy old guy going barefoot and maybe I am, but I care and am doing what I think is right.  I appreciate that you even took the time to listen to me, thank you.  Walking outside one of the boys followed me, gave me his hat and said I know what you are talking about because I go for counseling, thank you.  After him one of the directors came out and thanked me, saying I have a couple that think the world owes them, they needed to hear what you had to say.

August 7, Sat:  People stopped me on street to thank me, sign the petition and gave me money to continue.  A WWII Vet stopped me, saying I am glad someone is finally doing something, then he cried.  I stopped at a church yard sale where everyone signed and a little girl was the only one that hugged me and gave me her money.

August 8, Sun:  Only walked a few hours so that I was able to make it to a church where we were invited to speak.  They allowed me 5 minutes, but didn’t realize I didn’t have a watch. Either I managed to stay within 5 minutes or they were very polite.  I asked them to help me heal America by starting support groups for those that have loved ones overseas or have lost a loved one to suicide.  I said I want your prayer to be your signature.  I told them when I used to tell someone I would pray for them it was so I could ease my conscience from doing nothing else to help them.  Whose prayer is more powerful the one that prays in a room alone or the one that waits on the one people are praying for?

August 9th, Monday:  I am on some rural roads headed toward Roanoke VA from Lexington.  Today I encountered a man who I thought was coming out of his house to see me only to find out he was headed to his car. Talking to him he held both hands up timidly saying he was afraid he could not sign it.  His voice had an odd quality so I asked if he had emphysema, he said, no, then raised his head so I could see his tracheotomy.  Walking away, I thought whatever I fear I give more power, by resisting it I make it real or larger then it is. Another man I encountered said what do you do about people that attack you.  I said I forgive them and can agree with them when I see it as they do,then they have nothing to attack, if I fight them they are justified.

Aug 10, Tues:  Strolling on route 10 alongside route 81 it reminds me of a time when we didn’t lock our doors and all seemed right with the world.  Then I thought there were also bad times back then but, I seem to remember the good first.  If I only remembered the bad, it would seem there is no hope. Walking along a state hwy then getting off on to a road with no shoulder I am disrupting traffic and all of a sudden a cop comes up behind me with his lights flashing.  As he pulls up with his window rolled down, he hands me a cold water and says God bless you with a look of gratitude that took me off guard and went on his way.

August 11, Wed:  As the day wears on and the temperature rises we look for a shady place to part the camper and it is a bonus if we can get electric and water.  Today I went to a church, the conventional type with the minister wearing a suit and tie and a secretary to screen his calls.  Going in sweaty, smelly, barefoot covered in road dirt I tell the secretary what we are doing and what we could use.  To help convince her I show her the article in the paper that was just given to me by a local.  She looked at me a little different and said she would show the minister and ushered me in. Talking to the minister I told him at times I question my sanity
for what I am doing.  He replied, I don’t question yours I question our leaders.

Aug 12, Thurs: I just went to a gas station and told them what I was doing after I bought a drink.  She said, I won’t sign it, I said OK,
may I use your bathroom, she said no, it isn’t for public use.  I was the most unfriendly encounter with a gas station I have had since I started walking.  So I left and had thought about asking for my money back on the drink as I sometimes can’t understand why people aren’t as passionate about this cause as I am.  Going across the street standing there trying to make sense of my map as the streets aren’t lining up with what I have in my hand, a woman pulls over with two little girls in car seats in the back.  She said, is that true, I said yes, would you like to sign our petition.  She said, yes, I also asked her if she would like to donate, she said she didn’t have any money.  There was a tiny voice from the back seat that said, I have money Mommy.  She pulled out her wallet and gave me all her money which was 60 cents and smiled as she handed it over.  I stood there and cried, this is the type of family I want to be the norm, happy and loving where the parent is the hero they want their children to be.  I work to help those children we thrust into adulthood to come home when they get back from the war.

Aug 13, Fri:  In the early hours of the morning it is quite as I walk and I stop in one of those gas station connivance stores that are the norm and I ask the cashier to sign our petition, she gladly signs it as she tells me she is worried about a friend who has come home from the war only 20 years old and started drinking heavy because of what he had seen and done.  It seems that in times of war all humanity is gone and at other times people reach their highest virtuous.  He deals with it the only way he knows how now, until that doesn’t work anymore. I am walking the Blue Ridge Mountain Parkway and have decided to change my route as I would be walking 200 miles through the woods losing the momentum we are building up.  A local bicycling is curious and engages me in a conversation, after talking for awhile he asks if I could use a water I said yes.  So he gives me a water then asks if he could do anything else, I said, yes, you could make a donation and sign the petition.  He said, I can’t do that, I am a Jehovah Witness and I can’t get involved.  I said you sound like the child that lives in the closet at home and says he isn’t part of the family.  He said
it didn’t bother his conscience to give me water but to donate he couldn’t do that with a clear conscience.  I thought it was
interesting to use a religion as an excuse for your actions.

Aug. 14, Saturday:  In Ellisburg I notice a man and woman on the other side of the street standing in front of their house waving to me so I go over and talk to them.  They said our son saw you walking and called to tell us that you would be coming by, we just wanted to thank you.  They gave me food and water and 20 dollars for their Grandson who is 12 and is always doing something for Vets.  The husband started to cry, I started to cry and so did his wife as we all stood in silence crying.

Aug. 15, Sunday:  This morning in Shawville VA  I was stopped alongside the road by a man yelling out his window, “I’m a vet too!  We talked after he pulled over to the side.  He had been in V.N. 69 to 70 going in when he was 17, he said, I was a kid fighting an old mans war, I was a victim.  I had been in and out of hospitals for 30 years, gone through 4 marriages, abandoned 3 children, been through countless jobs and had shut my doors to the world.  I will talk to guys that say they have been in and brag about the war and I know they haven’t been there.  He is finally forgiving himself and helping others, he has opened the doors to his home.
When I reached Christenburg a young woman said I read your article and thank you for what you are doing, my father went to V.N.
and he is my hero.  His best friend was killed on his birthday and I said it must bother him everyday.   She looked up at me while sitting in her car and cried, whispering, he hates his birthday.

Aug 16, Monday:  As I walked through the village of Radford a woman came out of her shop to talk to me saying she saw me on the news and what a great adventure I was on.  While she signed the petition and gave me money she described how her brother had come home from Afghanistan.  He had already served active duty and had been redeployed while in the Reserves years later and was now in prison after being in a shoot out in Vegas where one of the sheriffs was wounded.  It was later discovered that the sheriff was wounded by friendly fire.  I understand the term friendly fire, but there is nothing friendly about it. A mile away from there a man signed, a veteran himself who said that Bush should be tried for treason against the American people and war crimes.  His anger matched his statement, I would like to think that our leaders have info we don’t and are making the right decisions.  If they aren’t how could they live with themselves?

Aug 17, Tues:  Last night we spent the evening with a doctor and a minister who are going through a brutal divorce.  We talked at how beat up everyone becomes and the children are held hostage.  We discussed how if the men supported one another and had workshops of an empowering nature all would benefit.  They are going to start a group along those lines in Radison VA. Today as I walked by a store front a woman ran out to ask me if I was the man walking across the country, I said, I am, would you sign the
petition.  She said yes, as she signed she told me both her son and husband were in the military and their were never the same when they got home as she fought back tears. Walking a car pulled up behind me and a man got out and said I want to sign your petition.  He came from a military family where his father was in for 32 year, he had been in for 21 and his son is now in. He is angry how the soldiers are being treated and how Congress seems to turn a blind eye to them.

Aug 18, Wed:  Leaving Pulaski VA I had a nice walk up the mountain and a Woman Police Officer stopped traffic to shake my hand and thank me what I was doing as I was coming down the backside of the Mt. Meet a young man taking out his garbage in the am, as I talked to him he told me that he was in the Air force over in Afghanistan, didn’t get any help and said, maybe that’s whats wrong with me?

Aug 19, Thurs:  Walking in the rain to Wytheville VA I zoned out and was brought back to earth by a cars horn honking.  I looked behind me and a woman jumps out in the rain carrying a bag and a cup of coffee for me.  She said, I thank you for what your doing, my son came back last year from the war and my grandson is over there now, God Bless you. She was grateful and coming from a family of soldiers they were able to give the support that their family members needed when they got home.  That is someone that understands, can relate and help carry them when things get a little tough. A man after signing my petition with a sad anxious look in his eye apologized several times saying he wanted to give me a few bucks but, couldn’t because he was out of work and things didn’t look good.

Aug 20, Fri:  Walking out of Atkin Va through heavy fog a Police Officer stopped me telling me to be careful, I thanked him and walked on.  An hour later he came by and told me I was making good time so I asked if he had any water, he said, no, so I told him I still loved him anyway, he smiled and left.  Half an hour later he came by with a cold bottle of water and said, I got this for you and left. Met Jim Gordan one of the most active vets I ever saw who goes to counseling and does what he can to help other vets get the help they need.  He told me he was having a good day as he got out on the right side of the bed, I told him to put the bad side against the wall.  He said right now it is in the middle of the room. Stopped at a yard sale and was ignore, guess they figured if they
ignored me I would go away and I did, but by ignoring this problem it won’t go away.

Aug 21, Sat:  I met a young man at Marion Va who wouldn’t sign the petition because he said, my father was a vet who had a heart attack and they didn’t have a bed for him at the VA Hospital,  So your not going to sign this so that others won’t get the same treatment your father did, he said that’s right. I’m not signing because I have to take care of my own.  I told him I was in and just because it happened to us doesn’t mean we should let it happen to others. will you sign it, he said no and good luck.  I said my luck would be your signature so if you don’t want to sign it don’t wish me luck. He seemed to be one of those people who are angry that if they didn’t get what they think is coming to them they don’t want anyone else to get it either.  Like his not signing would make a bed appear, his signing will help make sure no one gets a bed.  At first I was angry then forgave him as he has to live with his anger, I just walked away.I don’t think it matters much what we do in life long as we do it with  love.  Doing a deed out of love not out of fear: such as when you do something for a loved one just because you love them.  Not doing a deed such as taking from someone else because you are afraid you won’t get enough. Leaving Marion a man pulls over, getting out of his car he tells me he is the Mayor and thanks me for what I am doing, saying that they told him in town that I was passing through and he said he would find
me.  He told me he was never in the military, but supports what I am doing giving me money, putting his money where his mouth was.

Aug 22, Sunday:  When people drive by and give me the thumbs up I like to think that I have been their mirror showing them one of their best sides and what they believe in.

Aug 22,  Sunday:  Talked to a man who had been in prison, the cause stemming from a dysfunctional military family, turning his life around he went about making amends.  One of the ways was by repaying people he had stole from.  He went to a police station saying he had robbed a home in his town and wanted to repay them but, couldn’t remember where the house was, would they help him find it.  He told them the year and approximate date but they where unable to find it that way so he asked would they drive him around to help him find it, they said yes.  They were driving around when he pointed out the house and told the police
officer that was the one.  The officer pulled over, looked at him and said that is my mother’s house.  He thought that he was going to go to jail when the officer said that’s my mothers house, but instead he said I know my mother wouldn’t want you to go to jail.

Aug 23, Monday:  Today I had a moment of mortality not understanding why people aren’t as passionate about this as I am.  I went up to a home owner who asked if he signed this was he committing to anything, if he was he couldn’t sign, but he said, I support you.  What kind of support is that?  I support you if I don’t have to do anything and no one will know.  Is that fear based or is it my imagination as I walk into Abington?  I stopped at a business with a sign out front saying they support the troops, no one their would sign it either, I stopped at another business that had  sign out front saying they support the troops but wouldn’t let us park our camper there.  I guess what they mean by supporting the troops is they will serve them, take their money but don’t ask for more then that cause you aren’t going to get it.

Aug 24, Tuesday:  A person drove by and from the safety of his car called me Fagot.  I laughed to myself and thought, why would someone call me that?  I figured that since I wasn’t fitting the stereotype of a “Man”, to show no emotion or passion for anything other then a skirt and dress a certain way I wasn’t a man. I possible made him feel uncomfortable because I showed some conviction and stepped out of the box to do it. Everyday is different and going into Bristol I got a number of people not signing because they were afraid.  Afraid to lose their jobs, afraid to make a commitment and afraid they would lose something. Well I know if I make no stand at all I will have created my greatest fear for what I resist, persists.  I won’t have to be afraid for long because it will be here and then I will have to worry about living with it. The end of the day I became very judgmental where we went to eat
when the guy next to us was talking loudly on his cell phone and ordering the waitress around with a surly voice, just figuring he was the Ugly American.  After talking to him finding out how he had went without to ensure his children had an education and having them get involved in volunteer work, I started to regret my hasty judgement and I truly did after he paid for our dinner and wished us God speed.

Aug 25, Wed:  Walking through Bristol on a remote road I thought about yesterday with the driver calling me a Fagot and my judgement of the guy sitting next to us at dinner. I did what I get angry at everybody else for doing  which is judging based on observation without knowledge.  I made a decision on what I had made up in my mind without facts.  So what I didn’t know, I made up and what I did know, I twisted around. After this thought on the median a State Trooper drove up behind me with his lights flashing, sticks out a bottle of water to me, saying I don’t want you to get dehydrated.  I thanked him, he said he is a Marine in the Reserves that is going to be deployed to Afghanistan soon.  I said I am a little out of touch with the news, but I thought everyone was being pulled out?  He said, no we are still going over to secure Afghanistan.

Aug 26, Thursday:  This morning after passing the mecca of man and machine, NASCAR at Bristol Tenn. I stopped at a Kentucky Fried Chicken to use the bathroom, they weren’t open yet.  I turned around to go in the bushes when a lady opened the door and asked if she could help me. I said, Yes, could I use your bathroom, she hesitated for a moment then said yes.  As I came to the door I asked if she would sign the petition, she said yes and wanted to know how I could do it barefoot, I told her it wasn’t the hardest part of my walk then went to the restroom.  When I came out she had everyone there sign it then told me, “My nephew came back from Iraq and tried to commit suicide 3 times, saying he needed help, just last year he killed himself”.  She fought back tears as I said this is the hardest part of my walk. I had talk to a minister the other night and told him I learned that prayer is something I do when I can’t minister to the one I pray for.  People tell me that prayer moves mountains, but when I pray to move a mountain I wake up the next morning to find a shovel in my driveway.

August 27, Friday:  Walking through Johnson City Tenn. I meet a Marine who served active from 2004 to 2008 while signing the petition he said he got a little counseling for PTSD then headed off to work. Taking some back roads to shave off a few miles I had an interview with a reporter from the local paper.  He was one of those guys that recycles, uses a manual mower to cut down on pollution and supports causes.  He told me he would contact his Congressman about what we are doing and help get other media attention for us.  As he walked with me to get some shots I asked a lady, older then myself to sign the petition, she responded vehemently,   “My father was an Army Man for 30 years, I been there, done that, I don’t sign petitions, they only get you in trouble!  The next building over ,as a man was getting into his truck I asked him to sign, he said, yes, I’m a Vet, maybe they’ll get what we didn’t. Just before I stopped for the day a police officer stopped me as I was walking the Median.  He told me to get off to the side, I said, I like the median because of the grass, forgive me I am getting soft. He said, I can understand that since your doing it barefoot. We talked a while, he was in the Army for 12 years, been deployed to 3 different battles over there.  Since I have been back I have been treated like a God, it’s not like when you were in.  He said he could go both ways on our petition because he feels that some guys are just looking for a pay check.  I agreed that does happen, but I said you know the guys already in trouble aren’t getting an Honorable discharge so you know they get nothing and they need it the most.  He agreed and said just stay in the center of the median I don’t want anyone hitting you with a beer bottle, there’s a lot of assholes out there, I said I know I’m one of them, he said, no your not, your not hitting anyone with a beer bottle. A few hours after I got back to the camper I got a call from Congressman Phillip Roe who was notified by the reporter.  He told me he would look at what I am doing and maybe have me come to Washington, he also put me in touch with his Aide.  I told his Aide that some Congressmen said they were unable to do anything, he said that is nonsense we’re in Congress we could at least speak up.  It gave me hope that I may have found a Champion, he didn’t worry that I don’t vote in his state.

August 28, Saturday:  Today before I passed the birthplace of Davey Crockett I was greeted by a local policeman making sure I was fine. During our early morning discussion he told me that 3 of his fellow officers are Vets that go on a regular basis for PTSD and he would make sure they heard about what we are doing. As I walked a young man waved at me as he passed and pulled over
to wait for me.  When I got to him he wanted to know if I was protesting the war, I said no and told him what it was about.  He said
good because I had gone to a funeral not to long ago a local had died fighting for our freedom and at his funeral there were people
protesting giving him no rest.  I am speechless in how disrespectful some people can be.  I can’t imagine how they expect to get any respect when they are unable to give it.  Who would want to join an organization that is afraid to go after the one causing the problem? 

August 29, Sunday:  Before I even started walking, being dropped off where I stopped yesterday a deer jumped across the road without even touching the pavement.  It is the little things like that give me pause to the wonder of the world around me.
Coming into Afton a young man pulls over, not more then 20 with his girlfriend trying to sleep in the front seat wrapped in his
security jacket from work.  I see their worldly possessions in the back seat and know their car is their home.  He said tell me about
this, I was just talking to somebody 5 minutes ago about this after I got of work.  He was telling me to join the military and retire after 20, I said, what about the suicides, I’m going crazy now should I go in the service then come home and kill myself?  It is sad when a persons options are limited and they take a job to support them self rather then because it is their dream.
I thought America was the country of unlimited opportunity, am I mistaken?

August 30, Monday:  Making it to Midway Tenn a man pulled over and came up to me saying you have no idea how much this means to me.  I read the story, saw you walking and just had to say thank you.  Talking while on the median he told me how he fought for a political issue and lost his job and has been black balled because of it.  I said I stay out of the politics, the blaming and work to do what I feel is the right thing.  He said even though it cost him he feels good about himself because he stuck to his principles.  Money can come and go, but when you lose your principles you have lost more and get to regrete it on your death bed.

August 31, Tuesday:  Because of a news story printed today a man had pulled over on the highway to thank me and said it is a shame you have to do this.  He is a Vet. who worked in the VA counseling those coming home with PTSD and now that he is retiring he plans to continue counseling through the Church’s in the Midway and surrounding area. I am on a road with 6 inch shoulders that tractor trailers speed down blowing my hat off as they go by.  When a truck with a whip antenna pulls up ahead of me and stops in a driveway.  A woman gets out crying and asks if she can take my picture as she cries, and cries and cries, I say yes.  After taking the picture she says, I have a nephew over in Afghanistan and my son in law just came back and he is so angry.  I didn’t realize how worried about it I was till I saw your sign.  My daughter wouldn’t tell me what is going on till she brought her dog back home.  He’s stressed out, looks terrible and he’s only a dog for God’s sake.  She told me that one of his friends had just committed suicide and since then he has drawn a gun on his father, on himself twice and on my daughter.  She said, we don’t know what to do
he won’t listen to anyone, whispering she sobs, my daughter is pregnant with his child. I asked if it was OK to take her picture, she said yes. This will be the first time I have ever taken the picture of a mother grieving because I crying with them all and felt it is a private moment not to be made public, but if we don’t start treating it different it will never change.I want you to see the face of pain and grieve I see.

September 1, Wednesday:  Met a road crew who all signed it after I threaten the biggest guy who only out weighted me by 120 pounds making my job a little easier.  We kidded around for a few minutes, but it turned serious as one of the crew told me of his brother in the National Guard who has come home unable to get a job.  They told him it is because he was deployed to many times.  His other brother had committed suicide within a year of getting discharged.

September 2, Thursday:  I had stopped at the VFW in Morrison Tenn and gone into the wrong door only to find it was an apartment for 4 men, 3 of whom are Vets.  They all signed and the youngest told me that he had come back from Somalia with 98 others and only 22 are still alive. 

September 3, Friday:  Met a fellow Marine whose daughter is also a Marine over there now, he is invested in this war more then most Americans and couldn’t sign fast enough. Later that day in New Market Tenn a reporter stopped and did an interview.  At one point during the interview he said, I’ve known you for a little over an hour and in that time a Veteran has committed suicide.  I was stunned, I guess I have said it to so many others so many times I was numb to it.  If it is one in my life time and it is my child it is one to many.

September 4, Saturday:  Last night I talked to the VA center in Nashville where I am going to speak on the 16th and the impression I got was that the state is picking up the slack for the Federal Government, it seemed a little backwards to me. Today I walked down Magnolia St. in Knoxville Tenn. which at one time was a decent area and now is in decline.  Decline in that shops are closed, yards are unkempt, homeless roam the streets and hookers sit on the porch’s.  They sign my petition, they were in the impact zone, their husbands and friends were the bomb.  Regardless all are affected by this plague even those from nicer neighborhoods who think
this ailment skips their door.

September 5, Sunday:  Today I didn’t walk, but I did speak at the Kingston Christian Church in Tenn., they greeted us with open arms, barefoot and all and I found out later they didn’t even know I was coming.  There was a wide range of awareness, from people not knowing what we were talking about to those that had a loved one commit suicide.  The entire congregation signed the petition and prayed for us with more then their lips.

September 6, Monday:  In the cool darkness of the morning as I tread upon the pavement a lady stopped me to find out what I was doing and after signing asked if I had any publicity.  I said, I hadn’t contacted any yet, but would after 8 am, she said she would call also when she got home.  A fellow Marine joined me on my walk, he was moved by my talk at the church yesterday and felt it was time he did more to reach out to his fellow man. We had 2 TV interviews as we walked and got to speak this afternoon at a Democratic Rally, everyone there signed the petition.

September 7, Tuesday:  Today while I walked Valeria checked the emails an she got one that read:   When I joined, we were the first females to have the same training as the men.  All we asked was to be treated the same as the men.  That was not to be.  They refuse to believe that almost getting raped in ’78 as well as being placed in uncomfortable situations was a problem.  It was just boys being boys.  So I started drinking: like the boys, and when I was hurt, I refused to be taken off the range on a stretcher, just  just so I could show how tough I was.  That just messed up my knees worse.  I’ve been out since May of ’79 and it’s been an uphill battle with the VA since.  They’re refusing almost everything except I did fall during live-fire maneuvers so they have to give me a  40%  disability  for my knees. Now I’m too tired to fight anymore.  the measly $560 they give me to live on is not enough.  Please let people know of the shameful way the government is treating female vets.  You don’t need to reply. I don’t intend to be here.  I’m just another piece of throw-away Army Veterans. Valeria made contact with her and talked with her for some time. We don’t expect this to be the last of such emails. We spent the night with a family we had met at the church we spoke.  The daughters husband was a Marine Helicopter Pilot who did Angel flights.  Which is flying into a war zone to pick up the fallen. Some of you may wonder why risk your life for someone who is dead, but then again would you leave your brother behind dead or alive? Marines don’t, her husband remembers everyone of their names and rank. We think we can imagine what it was like, but we can’t until we
have been there.

September 8, Wednesday:  Stopping at a gas station where I gave the petition to the woman behind the register to sign.  She looked very conflicted and said she was afraid to sign because she felt it would jeopardize her job.  Not to far up the road I was asked to leave because someone approached me in the parking lot of the convenience store to sign the petition.  It pains me to see so much fear, why would any business be against our cause?  The other reason which pains me is the apathy. If good people do nothing the fearful will realize their greatest fear.

September 9, Thursday:  A man said he didn’t have time to sign the petition, I’d like him to tell that to the soldiers I met with out an
arm and leg.      A lot of people I met are upset about the Mosque especially that floor flapper in Florida who wants to prove that two
wrongs don’t make a right.  

September 10, Friday:  This morning when I went out it was so dark I had to look to the sky to find the cut in the woods to find the road. Later in the morning it turned out to be overcast which is my kind of weather.  A woman pulled over and said, you need an umbrella, …, who in your family did it.  I said no one, I had a bunch of friends who did.  She said my daughter did a year and a half ago on her birthday. They shouldn’t send them over if they already have problems, my daughter was bi polar, drank and couldn’t understand why she was depressed. I asked her if she would start a suicide support group for who knows better then her how it can destroy a family.  She said she would think about it and check out the website.  Before she left she gave me $5 and said that is what I make an hour. As I was going around a bend a woman came out of her house saying I saw you on TV, God Bless you and all Vets.  She said she wanted to have a picture of us together, but she doesn’t have a camera.  I said   would take our picture with my cell phone and her daughter could down load it off of our web when we put it on.  Her husband came out and took our picture.  She was so happy and gave me a hand full of change, she had told me she lives off of 200 dollars a month SS and wished she could give me more.  As we talked I noted that her jewelry was missing stones, after I left them I cried for I remembered how my Grandmother made and stitched her own cloths, made her own soap and had jewelry like that.  She had gone without things so that she could get me little gifts.

September 11, Saturday:  We went into the Central Time Zone and as I walked through Crossville in the rain they were having a 5K run for 9/11.  I finally ended at Pleasant Hill and had thought of all the junk yards I had seen in the past few days.  It seemed there is a parrall as I see the broken lives of the homeless, families wracked by the guilt of suicide and those in denial as they self medicate themselves: the human junkyards.  Fences are built to keep the people out, scrubs and fresh paint on buildings by the road are used to make people think everything is beautiful on the other side. I met with several Vets today, one had been diagnosed with PTSD last year after being out of the military for almost 20 years and living a life of self imposed exile.  He didn’t know he had a problem. The other just shakes his head and thinks the only way to solve the corruption in politics is to shoot or hang them all and have the people take back their country.

Sept 12, Sunday:  Leaving Pleasant Hill I made it to Bon Air Tenn and finally found a gas station market that was open.  I got something to drink and got a patron to sign the petition after convincing him it was better then doing nothing.  As I went out a man came in and I asked if he would sign, he said, sure.  As he signed it he said, I got back last year, my friend stayed in and went over again.  He came home last month and blew his head off.  Our First Sgt. killed himself too: you know it’s bad when a First Sgt. does it. It is easier to understand a young man or woman just in a few years to break under the strain, but what makes a career man that has dealt with it for years to crumble?

Sept 13, Monday:  Walking into Sparta a man I ask to sign the petition says no and looks at me like he stepped in something he doesn’t want on his shoe.  My immediate feeling was one of beating him senseless, which passed and I just laughed to myself and walked on.  I laughed because I realized I am easy to get along with as long as I get my way. I just happen to come upon the news paper in town and stop in.  The editor was interested enough to hear my story and take a picture  for the paper.  After the interview she said, my friend’s family is going through a rough time because her daughter committed suicide, it’s not military related.  But, I wondered could it be related in someway because the thought was planted by the military deaths.  The seeming acceptance of suicide by our society as an option because it isn’t talked about, addressed because of the stigma attached to it. From what I have seen our way of thinking is that the family and closest friends should have done something, known and are guilty for their actions.  If this isn’t changed this epidemic will never stop.

September 14, Tuesday:  Last night a group of Veterans for Peace from the Cookville area dropped by to see me and talk.  They talked how they are working on a support group for Veterans that come home so they have a group of peers they can talk to when they come home. Helping soldiers having trouble finding peace find peace which I support, I don’t support protesting War.  Who am I to know with what little information I have whether or not a War is just? Also how can I be a model of peace when I am not even able to get along with people who love me, when I find humor at their expense. That arrogance of not willing to change because I am fine with the way I am and having not compromised because of my ego.  How can there ever be peace when I have been unwilling to compromise?  Saying I am to setin my ways, I am perfect the way I am is just a lame excuse for being insensitive to another human being.  How would I like to be treated if I was that person seeing the world as they do, how appreciative am I
of that person?  If God can love that person what is my problem? After hours of chewing on this topic I stopped in the VFW where
I meet the Commander an Ex Army Man discharged in 2002.  He had questions about what I am doing because he got counseling and questioning those that commit suicide.  Also the leadership that allows the break down or acceptance of those not fit to handle the duty. As he signed the petition he told me when he goes for a job interview he is turned down because he is a Vet. and is still looking for work.  What happened to Veteran preference?

September 15, Wednesday:  A man I stopped on the street in Smithville I asked to sign the petition said, it’s a great idea, but I have to think about it.  Oh it’s a great idea to put water on your house when it’s on fire, but let me think about it while it burns down.  Better yet helping the Soldiers with PTSD is a great idea, but let’s do a study for a few years and spend millions while they kill themselves. Went through Smithville and Dowellville today down off the Plateau.  One of the things I have been finding out is now because there is so much at tension paid to PTSD that anyone who comes out has trouble getting a job because they are labeled.

Sept 16, Thursday:  The other day after taking a slight detour to talk at the Nashville VA we talking to a group of men who asked who are you  speaking to at the VA, I said, I hope humans!  At the VA we were happy to find all the programs they have and are starting for all those coming out of the military.  We had 150 Vets and Doctors sign our petition and endorse what we are doing.  They got TV coverage for us and some great contacts for other groups. As Valeria and I stood at the table we were treated like royalty with a lot of us hugged and cried as we shared.  The work now is to get the civilians to realize the only difference between them and us (those of a military background) is the experience.  We all have PTSD it is a human condition not a stigma that is not singular to military personnel. We have to erase the stigma in and out of the military for there to be any real change.

September 17, Friday:  This morning before we got back on the road from the event at the Nashville VA I got a text message (who said your too old to learn anything) from one of the Vets being treated at the VA for PTSD.  When I hear the stories of soldiers, what they went through and the courage they have it inspires and gives me hope.  Their strength is in admitting they have a problem that affects the ones they love around them and to deal with it.  When I hear their stories it is easy for me to understand why they would commit suicide instead of going on. This particular soldier had gone to sick bay, was heavily sedated, raped by a male nurse, later goes into combat and witness all the trauma of war only to come home and have his wife commit suicide. He works to overcome these traumas for the love of his children, where if he committed suicide it would be easy for me to understand.

Sept 18, Saturday:  Walking in thick fog to Lascassas Tenn on route 96 a woman pulls up, rolls down her window and said, I saw you earlier this morning and thought you were going to commit suicide, why haven’t you done it yet?  I said thanks for your concern, sorry to disappoint you, if I was going to do it I wouldn’t be carrying a sign, I’d have done it already.  Do you have any water, I’m dying out here?  She said, no, but I would be glad to get you some.  I thanked her and she did return with water, hopefully to keep me alive till I change my mind. Another lady pulled over and got out of her car fighting back tears and said, when I first saw your sign earlier today I was taken back.  When I got home and talked to my boyfriend, he told me you were walking barefoot across the country, thank you for what you are doing, I guess I am out of touch with reality, I don’t watch TV, do you take donations?  I said yes, would you sign the petition as I handed it to her.  After she signed she asked if she could take my picture, I said yes.  After she took the picture and gave me some money she said, thank you.  Then she stood there and cried. I don’t think not watching TV is an indication of being out of touch.  I think being out of touch is not being aware of others around me, my environment and the impact I have on them.

Sunday, September 19:  Changed my course a little and went through Murfreesboro instead of Smyrna maybe get more traffic?  As I walked a man came out to his mail box to get the Sunday paper and I asked him to sign the petition, which he did, reluctantly and asked if he would be on a mailing list, I said, no.  10 minutes later down the road a car pulls up behind me, it is the man who just signed, he came up to me and said, I want to read it, I don’t sign anything without reading it, I said, sure, and handed him the clipboard so he could read it. He said, OK, I don’t want to be on a mailing list, got in his car and left.  10 minutes later he pulled up behind me again, got out and said I can’t find you on the Internet, I want to take my name off.  I said did you look up thelongwalkhome.org, he said, I probably didn’t put the g on, as he scribbled his name off.  I said, when you do, you can sign up on the website.  He said, I really hope this is legitimate and got in his car again and left. I shook my head and said to myself, what could I possibly get out of making this up to get a mailing list? The more I thought about it I realized that the underlying cause for all the problems in the world is fear.  Fear of scarcity, security, pain, lose of love and most of all fear of God.  If I am afraid of lose I attack to protect what I think I am losing.  If I am fearless what need is there to attack anything or anybody?  To fear God or the lose of his love doesn’t make sense to me.  I go on a belief that God loves me more then I love my two boys, who I would do anything for no matter what they did or said. The only way I could send them to hell is if they said they wanted to go and I let them.  If they got there and changed their mind, I would storm the gates of hell itself to get them out.  I would never want my children to fear me: respect and love yes, but never fear for that would tell me they think that I would harm them, which I would never do. At the end of my walk I came upon one of America’s finest, a Homeless Vet who got out in 2008, still wearing his fatigues and boots, his body covered with sores and lesions with his shirt open showing ribs covered in pale white flesh.  He said he saw me on TV and said God Bless You.  I thanked him and asked him to sign, he said, shit yea and asked me if I had been to Nam after I told him I am a Marine.  I said, no, my orders were changed and everyone I was to go with got shot.  He turned around, hanging his head and cried for an instant, then stopped turning around shaking my hand.  I said they have a VA here and they can help, he said I am going, that is what they taught me in the Army, to face it head on.  I gave him some money and I am not worried what he uses it for because I know it will be what he needs today.  When I got picked up minutes later, I cried as another human walks the streets thinking he is not good enough to be loved.

Monday, September 20:  Today I was joined by The Unknown Vet, a fellow Marine who has suffered with PTSD for 40 years.  He supports what we do by helping us get signatures for our petition and will be walking with a sign also in his local states.  What we do is so similar it would be reinventing the wheel, so we will work together and accomplish more. As we walked and had our moving meeting a lady ran out of her house and asked if we would like some water and to sit down, we said yes. While we were there she made sandwich’s, desert, chips, juice, 2 goody bags, gave us 2 rolls of toilet paper and signed the petition. I said we have to leave before she brings out the refrigerator on a dolly: her daughter is in Afghanistan now. While getting a paper interview a man ran out of his house, which we were standing in front of to shake our hands saying he had passed us earlier and check out our website.  Hopefully enough people are curious and inspired enough to look up our website and sign the petition.

Tuesday, September 21:  Today as I walked a shoulder less road I was stopped by a policeman who wanted my ID after asking me what I was doing.  While we were talking 2 other officers came blocking traffic for a mile and as people passed they would yell out, keep walking. The officer told me that there were shoulders 4 or 5 miles up the road and asked if I had anybody helping me, I told them I did and tried to call, but was unable to reach them.  I asked if they would give me a lift and let me ride in the back.  They said, sure and we won’t even charge you for gas.  As the young man escorted me to a safer location I told him I was putting on my safety belt as I didn’t want to make a citizens arrest so early in the morning, he said, he didn’t want me to have to do that either and we talked about what I was doing.  I came to find out that his uncle had been in Viet Nam, returning home he was never the same and died 3 years ago after a life of hard drinking.  I said, I don’t mean to preach to the choir, but the suicides and those coming home changed are the tip of the iceberg, the iceberg are the people around them especially the children that are affected by them.
I know you see it everyday, he said yes and I know. They all signed the petition and wished me well as they sent me on my way down the road in Franklin.  In this town the girl working the register at the gas station I bought a map said she had a soldier
who just got home yelling at her saying how everyone was staring at him a Ihop.  He said, what, is there something wrong with my uniform?

Wednesday, September 22:  After walking on some very quite, scenic roads Valeria and I were interviewed by channel 5.  Talking with the camera man and the announcer they said that this story was important to them.  The camera man’s brother-in-law served and the anchor woman shared how her father came back from the war a different man and it had affected her life forever.  As I talked into the camera about the collateral damage of the family she had turned her back to the camera and cried.

Thursday, September 23:  Today I walked over 20 miles on Natchez Trace Parkway, the walking was great, but there wasn’t much traffic.  I had one man stop out of the 50 or so that passed in the first few hours. He wanted to know if I was OK, he was on holiday from the Ukrain, after I told him what I was doing he gave me some water and was on his way.  After he left I remembered quite sometime ago that a group from Poland, I don’t remember if it was school children or a church group found out about the homeless in NY and sent sleeping bags and I think even food.  Well it seems that the people of NY got indignant about it
and didn’t accept it.  Were they indignant because there is a problem they didn’t want to address or was it ego that we are so wonderful helping the rest of the world that we were insulted to think we need aid for our own? Have we lost sense of our priorities?  I wondered as I venture a guess at what the people are thinking as they pass me.  Is this guy a wacko, what is he doing, I’m to busy to stop, I don’t care, it’s not my problem, I’m glad someone is doing something about this, now I don’t have to do anything about it, I can’t do anything, I’ll do something tomorrow,etc. It may not seem like much, signing a petition, but it is because you have made a change and that has an impact you can’t always see. As I was enjoying the grass carpet a woman in her 40′s (I guess)pulled over, got out of her car stood in the middle of the road looking at me and cried. She told me her friend from high school had committed suicide years ago after he got out of the military.  She cried like it just happened, some memories never fade away.

Sept 24, Friday:  Went to a PTSD group session at Murfreesboro where we have been staying with Bob Mims.  Bob who has suffered with PTSD for 40 years has been inspired to help by carring a sign just like mine getting people to sign the petition.  It matters to him and he knows I can’t do it alone.  We need more people like this to make this happen.

Sept 25, Saturday:  Walking into Centerville I had the few people that make up lame excuses or are so indifferent that I find myself getting angry.  As I walk thinking about my anger I realize this walk has evolved into more then what I had originally thought.  I think these people are put in my path so that I can forgive sides of myself so I am able to love God. Other then that it has been a trifecta, having a woman stop me on the road to sign the petition and tell me to stop at her son’s restaurant for a meal.  He wasn’t there so I called him to thank him for allowing his mother to give away the store.  Talking to him, he let  us park here for the night and speak at the church he is a minister.

 September 26, Sunday:   Valeria and I spoke to a large crowd Sunday at the Fairfield Church of Christ: the sermon was about unconditional love vs. doormat love.  I think our country uses he doormat version for the Veterans.  It goes like this, since you love us we can do whatever we want to you.  It is a one way street where the soldiers are asked to give  all and some do, the same rules don’t seem to apply to the rest of us.

September 27, Monday:  Walking into Pleasantville a reporter who had interviewed us last night came to take pictures.  When we are interviewed we also ask them questions so we get to know their story. We found out that his dream was to write for the NY Times, but the girl he married convinced him to stay in a small town and be a reporter there. While he walked with me seeing me interact with the people especially a father whose son is over there now and telling of his friends that have committed suicide: he said softly as he looked passed me, I am amazed you are still this passionate after 1200 miles. Then stood there looking down and cried. Before I ended for the day the owner of the Pleasantville Market, Deb invited Valeria and myself to lunch and then to park our camper for the night at her place.  Her Grandson is in the Marines and she told all her customers about us and had them sign the petition.  One man who came over to thank us cried as his hands trembled shaking my hand telling me about his PTSD and some of the action he saw that still haunts him till this day.  He tells a story of his friend who was in special ops that went out on a night mission with 3 others to  come back without them but with 19 prisoners.  He approached a different check point with a different password, the guard said, to prove your friendly shoot your prisoners: he shot them all. 

September 28, Tuesday:  As I walked into Linden I heard someone yelling stop.  I turned around and a man was running after me, when Matt got to me he told me he wanted me to talk to his staff at the Chamber of Commerce, so I did.  Wanting to learn more Matt invited Valeria and myself to lunch saying he was a Marine and his co worker Kevin was 101 Airborne.  Kevin said, we were just talking about you and I was glad one of the staff wasn’t working, just staring out the window and saw you.  Matt was adamant about helping and wanted to set up a speaking engagement and bring me to the paper.  If I knew you were coming we could have set up more for you.  I thanked him and he said, it was the least he could do. We found out that Kevin’s son was over seas now and when he had come home on leave Kevin took him tubing down a river for the whole day to help him decompress and talk.  Must civilians don’t know what to do to help someone in the military for it is out of their realm of experience.  That simple little tube ride could have been the difference between his son going out to a bar with his friends having a good time or a disaster because someone said the wrong thing to a man wrapped to tight. Matt spent the entire day with us setting up things and making calls always repeating his mantra, it’s the least I could do.

September 29, Wednesday:  Walking out of Linden as the fog lifted over the fields a young woman pulled over and said, I hoped I would get to meet you, my son is in the USMC andon of his friends has committed suicide, thank you for what you are doing.  I had to walk her over to the side of the road telling her I didn’t want her to get run over.  I looked at her puzzled, telling her she didn’t look old enough t have a son in the Marines.  She smiled and assured me she was.  As she pulled away I thought to myself I must be getting old (I think I am twelve) because everyone seems to look younger to me then they are. After ending my walk for the day Valeria and I went to speak at the Perry County High School that was set up by Matt, who also came with us.  We were warned that they could be rude as they were freshmen on the edge of being children or adults at any given moment. While we spoke they were attentive, quite and some cried.  I had told them when I started speaking that I had wanted them to sign our petition, but forgot to give it to them to sign.  Going out the door one of them ran up to us and said, we want to sign the petition: they all signed it.  Their teacher told us he had never seen them so well behaved for so long. When we got back to the office to say good bye they had collected money for our journey and Matt came over to see us off.  As we stood by the camper he said, I want to show you something.  He pulled a picture out of his wallet of three guys on stage singing.  This was me and my friends I went in the Marines with and we all got out at the same time, we literally closed this bar down that night and John took the 8 ball, he gave it to me and said, put this in your back pocket so you never get behind the 8 ball, John killed himself 7 days later. Matt pulled the 8 ball out of his back pocket and said this is the first time I ever told anyone, it’s why I was so adamant about helping you.  He put Johns name and a picture of the 8 ball on the front of the camper. 

September 30, Thursday:  Leaving the campground at Decatur Bend under the cover of darkness it seems I startled some truck driver because a police officer came to escort me to a wider part of the road.  The truck driver said that I had jumped out 
in front of him.  Before I was released into the wild they feed me breakfast and I got to see the other officer on duty. He stopped me yesterday, someone called in that I was going to ump off a bridge.  He wouldn’t sign or take our card, I had asked if he would take some advise, he said, maybe brother.  I told him to sign the petition on the web site before he went on his way.  After breakfast Tony signed, but my young friend from  yesterday is still holding out.  I came upon a road crew and going up to this big guy wearing a cowboy hat, a huge silver belt buckle and alligator skin cowboy boots. I asked him to sign the petition, he said it wouldn’t make any difference they are going to kill themselves anyway.  I said, if I do  nothing we’ll never know.  He said, I know from first hand experience that it doesn’t make a difference, my wife was in counseling, took my 357 magnum and blew her damn brains out, it don’t make no difference. He spat on the ground near my feet, turned his back on me and walked to his truck.  As I got back on the road and passed him in his truck,  I said, I’m sorry for your lose, he ignored me and drove off.    2 miles down the road I met a woman who signed it saying her son had committed suicide and she got some good counseling to help her,  but she said, it never goes away.  Stopping for the day Valeria and I went to lunch where a woman came up to us and asked if I waste guy walking with the sign.  I said, yes, she told us a teacher just lost her brother to suicide and she is having a hard time coping with it.  We told her about our resource page and gave her our number as well.  10 minutes later another woman in the restaurant asks us the same thing and tells us of her friend whose husband came home different and now they are divorced.  We are in a very small town,  Scotts Hill Tenn, no place is immune to this plague.

October 1st, Friday:  In the Jacks Creek area a man about my age pulls his car off the road and gets out with a big smile handing me a bottle of water saying, I’m a Vet of Nom and that isn’t like the ones they  carried when I got back.

October 2nd, Saturday:  Walking into Henderson I go up to a group of guys standing around on a loading dock passing the time while they wait for some work, I ask them to sign.  One man out of the group says yes and comes to me as he does so the others silently slink away so that when he is finished, it is just the two of us.  With people as fearful as they are in this country it makes sense that we have more bombs then anybody else, we need them.

October 3rd, Sunday:  Today I didn’t walk, instead I went to a Church of Christ on Church St. in Henderson, invited by Jim Ross who saw me walking down the road yesterday.  He is with NAMI, National Asc Mental Illness which just formed a chapter in Henderson, they also have a branch that deals with Veterans.  On a days notice he got in touch with the local media and got us to speak at his church. When I heard Jim’s story about how he had been beaten within inch’s of his life over a racial issue 35 years ago, left crippled for life and not holding any grudge because of his faith in a God that uses all things to his glory.  I am humbled and inspired to look at my own thoughts as I see a man who has a smile on his face and peace in his heart when one wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.

October 4th, Monday:  The temperature has dropped from the 90 and 100 degree days I have walked in to the 40′s and 50′s before dawn.  Being the tender foot that I am I will start walking later in the day to avoid that cool a temperature. Jim drove 30 miles one way just to see me again and tell me that I inspire him.  How is it that the people that are my hero’s tell me that I inspire them?  They work with little or no praise or recognition day in and day out touching lives.  I cry because I don’t think I deserve their praise, and I am not a humble man by nature.

October 5th, Tuesday:  Two policemen stopped by to questioned me, it seems a lady had called in a complaint.  It seems she was offended and at 70 mph she thought the sign said for her to committee suicide. To further check out my story they went to where I said Valeria was parked to verify my story.  Dropping in on her to confirm my story a man drove into the parking area and the police wanted to know if he came to see her.   She said I don’t know, then asked the gentleman who had a Marine bumper sticker and was wearing fatigues if he dropped by to see her because he had seen me on the road.  He said, no I just stopped to stretch my legs.  As they talked Valeria told him what we were doing and he told her he was in Nom and they didn’t get any help and sure could have used it.  Valeria said, wouldn’t you like to change that?  He signed the petition and she noticed the lights went on in one of the police officers who took the petition signed it and told his fellow officer to sign it.  If everyone would just make that little effort we could make history. Just arriving in Somerville I stopped at a gas station and asked this black man to sign who was sitting in his car.  His head was the size of a basketball, his legs were like the legs of an old piano and his arms were huge, he was like a stump.  He said he would sign it and I said I’m glad, I didn’t want to have to get ruff with you.  He looked up through 2 eyes that had a milky white haze like cataracts and grinned showing all gold teeth and said, Oh we wouldn’t want that now little man would we?  Then I looked behind me and saw his brother, I said no wonder you weren’t worried, and we all laughed.

October 6, Wednesday: Walking out of Whiteville a man pulled over in front of me getting out he said what’s this all about?  When I told him he said, I had passed you and had to turn around, I owe you at least that much if you are doing anything for the Vets.  He told me he was in Desert Storm with the Marines and did what he believed was right from what he had been told.  What makes you kill yourself when you get back is to find out the truth and second guess yourself, did I do the right thing.  He said, I went over to protect my family and last year my son was murdered in the streets of Memphis, what did I fight for? When I first got home and went to the VA they said they don’t have any record of me serving so I handed them my records I brought with me, they said this is no good it’s not certified, I told them it was, look my Captain signed it, so they made a copy.  I came back the following week and they told me they lost it, I kept going till they took care of me.  They said I have polysyctema which is an inherent  blood disease, no one in my family has it.  20,000 soldiers from Desert Storm have already died from this and 80,000 are supposed to be dead by 2013 with it.  I also spent 15,000 for private counseling for PTSD since I have been out. To me it was a miracle that he was even able to function, I don’t even like to entertain the thought of losing a child on top of everything he has been through. A little further up the road a car pulls over and a woman gets out and asks what I am doing and I tell her.  She is crying and tells me that she tried to commit suicide last year.  She said I passed you and God told me to see you, I have learned to listen when he talks to me, he loves obedience.  I said, I can hear him if I am quite long enough and I think he has a special place in his heart for the rebellious, she laughs and said, he has a lot of places in his heart. I am glad I saw you, you changed my life, God bless you and be careful.  I said I don’t have to worry, I’ve got back up.  She gave me 20 and said get the best lunch you can and left. 

October 7, Thursday:  Arriving in Oakland a woman pulled over and after learning why I am walking with my sign she offered to buy me lunch at Mikey D’s which I graciously accepted.  We talked for a few moments then she left me to take her grand daughter to the park.  While eating I noticed 6 men in suits at a table near me, when they got up I asked how their business meeting went.  One man told me they are all in different business, but were there as Jehovah witness’s.  I said, I was going to ask you to sign the petition, but know that you don’t like to get involved in anything.  He agreed and wished me luck, I said my luck is your signature so you aren’t doing anything for me. He said we like to work one on one.  I said oh, so if I send homeless Vets to you, you will feed and shelter them, he said, of course.  I said I will put you on our resource page if you will do that. I hope his idea of food isn’t just the word of God because to a person whose stomach is empty, words just aren’t enough.  I find that I can hear you much better after you feed me.

October 8th, Friday:  I took the day off, it is the first time since I started this walk across the country.  I decided to do it after
dragging myself through 12 miles and having worn a hole in my foot till it bled.  I will also take tomorrow off and swim so that my feet and legs get a break in the routine. How do mortals do this day in and day out thing without going crazy or are they all crazy?

October 9th, Saturday:  A friend told me that I inspired him because I have put my life on hold for my beliefs.  Most people would never think of taking a day off for others let alone 2 years,  I said, jezs I never thought of that, maybe that’s why I went out and did it.
Thinking could be over rated and used as an excuse not to do anything. 

October 10th, Sunday:  My first day back at the office after two days of loafing around.  It was a quite day maybe because it was a Sunday morning near Malls on route 64 in Lakeland.  When I got back to the campsite, another camper had pulled in along side of us.  It was a brand new 40 footer with stuff that should be on space shuttles.  I talked to the owner and he went on and on about there is no cable here and he has to dump his holding tank because it has salt water in it.  before he got his second wind I told him not to get jealous of our 25 foot well lived in Winnebago and told him what thelongwalkhome.org stood for that was printed on the side.  He was quite a moment then said jokingly, what your doing pales before my problems, I said, yeah it does. Another camper present said her brother in law was never the same after he came back from the war.  As I sat in our camper I thought how
human it is to look for peace and never find it, believing we have found it only to be denied.  Here is a guy you would think is on top
of the world and you know that cable or fresh water won’t give him peace.  How so any young adult that has horrors a part of their life? How can they begin to find peace if we deny them the tools to find it? Or allow them a time and place to talk of it to release that demon that eats them from the inside out?

October 11, Monday:  Today no one ask what my sign means, except for 2 TV stations that interviewed me.  I did however ask a young man for directions who was belligerent, yelling at me with an Indian accent, it’s not my problem.  It almost seemed funny the way it sounded, but not by the look on his face.  It was obvious it wasn’t his problem, I was the one who didn’t know where I was!  His problem was different then mine: it wasn’t about finding the right street.

October 12, Tuesday:  It was 7:30 am on Jackson St. in Tenn when a man yelled out what does your sign mean.  I look over and there are a cluster of men drinking from brown paper bags and one man smoking.  I go over to them and smell reefer and the beer on their breath as I tell them what the sign means.  As they sign one notices I have no shoes and asks why.  I tell him it is a memorial for my friends that died because of Vietnam, his eyes get glassy and he turns and leaves saying he has to go.  One of the others has his chevrons safety pinned to his hat, he was a Lance Corporal in USMC 1969 to 71. I walk through broken glass and human desecration and remember the nicer neighborhoods I have walked through and wonder about the differences.  I think that what separates them is the poor have thinner walls in their homes that are close together so you can hear the fights.  There is broken beer bottles and drug paraphernalia all  over the road, the rich put theirs in garbage cans so the streets are clean.  The poor say it is everyone Else’s fault, but theirs, the rich usually only blame God their parents or the other political party.  So it would seem to me the only difference is appearance and the number of people blamed for what is happening.  The poor live in what they think about themselves as so do the rich.  Where does it start and end?  It begins with each one of us and that is where it is finished. I was at the Jefferson park where I asked a homeless man if he would sign after telling him why I walked with the sign.  He said he wouldn’t because they should put the past behind them just like he did after doing 2 tours.  He is 62 and living on a park bench, he really
got on with his life, so he claims.  I said if you served your entitled to some benefits, he said, I don’t want anything from them,
fuck’um.  It seemed strange for he had no problem asking me for 20 bucks if I wanted his picture for the website.

October 13, Wednesday:  It is 6:30 am, still dark as tractor trailers fly by me as I walk over the Mississippi River into Arkansas.  In that
darkness as I look out over the river I see a beckon of light cut through the night, as I focus on it, it brings to mind times when I
was out at sea.  We could tell when we were getting close to home as  we saw the lights and would focus in on them to find my way to shore. A soldier comes home focusing on loved ones to find their way back, not quite making it because of a change in perception creating obsticals.  Let us help them find their way around them. Not to long after getting off the bridge the Tenn. police have a little going away party for me by passing me off to the Arkansas State Police.  When the State Police arrived for this ceremony they told me I had two options, the first was to go to jail, I asked what the second was, he replied, a fine.  Neither one sounded very appealing to me.  I told him what I was doing and why and that I used the walk way they had over the bridge and walked in the grass off the interstate to make it to rt 70.  He went to his mobile office with my licence and came back saying we will stay with you here till you get a ride to rt 70.  We have no problem with what you are doing, but we can’t have you on a Thruway, I told him I understand and was told I could walk over the bridge by a local. I asked the officer what his name was, he said, Trooper Collins. I said that is an unusual first name who gave it to you, your mother or father.  He smiled and said, my mother.  I said goodbye Trooper, and we parted ways. At the end of the day after getting to walk again we got a call from Congressman Roe’s aid to tell us that the Congressman would sign our petition.  Valeria and I were very happy campers.

October 14, Thursday:  Met John Ulstrom with ourforgottenwarriors.org who started walking from Texas headed to Washington D.C. for the same thing we are.  What are the odds of that?  We shared notes, encouraged one another and followed different paths on the same journey.  When you get a chance please check him out.

October 15, Friday:  A man stopped me on the road and after listening to what I had to say said he wants to think about it and sign on the website after he has made an educated decision.  I respect a person that asks questions and takes time to make a move, that is an informed citizen and they act without fear for they have knowledge.  I meet so many people that don’t know, don’t want to know and tend to live in a constant state of fear, enabling them to be victims so nothing is ever their fault. After my jaunt Valeria and I visited the Museum in Forrest City it was one of the most surprising little stops we made.  It was an old house donated by a Doctor that had died years ago leaving the 6th largest collection in the state of Indian Artifacts.  It seems when his patients didn’t have much money he would barter for oddities, it seemed he took care of a lot of poor people. We found the curator’s nephew is going over to the Middle East, he wanted to be a soldier since he was 10.  She said she is concerned, even though he wants to go, she knows it is still going to have an impact on him that he isn’t prepared for.

October 16 Saturday:   Last night we had talked to Amanda, Congressman Phillip Roe’s Aid who informed us that Congressman Roe would sign our petition 7:30 am at the Peabody in Tenn.  We backtracked from Forrest City and spent the night at George and Bev’s house, he is with Veterans for Peace.  They support us as well as VFW’s and American Legions, we take help from anyone because this is an issue that transcends politics.  It effects us all no matter what our beliefs, politics, color, age or creed.
7:30am As Congressman Roe walked to the check out I intercept him and introduce myself to him and his aid.  We sat down and
presented him with the petition which he reads in it’s entirity and signs it. As he reads it I remember a reporter complaining about Cong. Roe saying he is a lousy politician and I asked why.  His reply was because he reads the whole bill himself.  I said, isn’t that what we want, patriots, we already have enough politicians? After he signed it I said, I am honored to meet a patriot because
every politician I have approached has said no, telling me that it is political.  He smiles and shakes his head, they are politicians that
is what they are supposed to do. He said he would help us get an appointment with the President and to get others to make a request as well.  He said he would have us speak to the Veteran Affairs Committee and to stay in touch. When we got back to George’s he told us how he slept in a car for 10 years after he got out of the military because it was such a radical Transition.  In the military he didn’t have to make any decisions.  After awhile he became a teacher in the military, the only civilian among 4,000 enlisted the short timer’s would come up to him showing him their beads. Each bead represented a day they had left. He said be carefully what you wish for because what are you going to tell people after you are out?

October 17, Sunday:  When I started my walk and looked at my watch, it was 9:11.  I wonder would I be walking if 9:11 hadn’t occurred or would I still be out here walking for an issue that wouldn’t be getting the press it is? Getting to the camper I got a call from Bob the Unknown Veteran who has been working with us getting signatures.  He introduced me to Daniel, ex-army, he survived a suicide attempt, and was put in the VA psychiatric shut down.  He said, I guess that God has other plans for me, and he was been working since to help those others on the brink. 

October 18, Monday:  I had walked through Brinkly past miles and miles of cotton fields where it was so dry the dirt that wasn’t stone was dust into Cotton Plant.  It had looked at one time that these two towns were large and prosperous, but now it was a collection of closed buildings, especially Cotton Plant which is all but a Ghost Town. What happened here was so sudden you can’t miss the effects. What is happening because of PTSD is like a cancer that we cover up with some make up until one day there won’t be enough to cover up.

October 19, Tuesday:  Today was a day for ducks and barefoot hikers, a rainy day in Arkansas where the hard baked dirt on the side of the road has turned to mud and my lips aren’t sun burnt, Thank you God.  I didn’t interact with another soul till my walk was done and I went into a store to ask if we could keep the camper in their parking lot for the night. When I first go in I notice apprehension, but when I finish telling our story the manager said we can help.  Within 10 minutes we are sharing lunch with them and hearing their stories of collateral damage.  How one of their fellow workers because of a loud sound was transported in an instant back to a time and place he had put behind him.  Another one’s brother-in-law was on the brink of suicide and they didn’t know how to help.  This is just one store I went into where the men didn’t even know these things about one another, none of
us is alone.

October 20, Wednesday:  After walking 15 miles with a few people waving to me with no more interaction then getting a captured audience to sign (the clerks in a gas station) we stopped for the day at a cousins in Jacksonville.  We hugged, we laughed, we cried we shared food and memories.  We have a bond that transcends time and distance our shared memories bring us back to different times and when we talk about them it sheds a different light on them.  Soldiers are no different then us, why do they get treated so differently?  They only have different memories and we helped with that, either by our action or lack of it.

October 21, Thursday:  I walked into Cabot and across the street I noticed a young man and his Grandmother watching me, I wave, they waved.  I yell across the street, we are working to make it mandatory that all military personnel get counseling prior to discharge, would you sign our petition, thy nod yes.  As I go to cross the street I notice a car coming so I stop and let it race by as the woman driving looks up and makes eye contact and yells something out behind her closed window.  I get across and the Grandmother said, sure I’ll sign that.  At first the Grandson says, Oh, I don’t know if I can sign that.  As his Grandmother signs he said, I had a friend who came back from Iraq and said he wasn’t going to live to see his 30th birthday, we didn’t pay any attention and he hung himself on his 30th birthday, I guess I could sign.  After he signs a reporter comes and interviews me and them, while she is doing so a lady pulls up in the driveway. She asks are you OK are you going to commit suicide.  After I say I am OK and not committing she reams me out for jumping in front of her and trying to commit suicide, how I would have ruined her life if I did
and for God’s sake get some shoes on. After the tirade she lets me know she’s doing it out of love and asks what she can do to help me.  I say, sign the petition, which she said she was to upset to do, but will because her ex was military and he needed it.  So I say here is my card, you can sign on line.  She said is there anything else I could do, I say sure you could make a donation, which she didn’t even hear, so I said, forward our website to your friends.  I would like to see the fruit that love tree bears.

October 22, Friday:  Today as I walked route 89 into Otto a reporter stopped to interview me, as he took pictures a young man with his wife and new born stopped and yells out his window, what are you doing?  As I tell him and he gets out of his car telling us he is on vacation and wants to know why they should get counseling before they get out of boot camp.  Before I finish telling him, he nods his head and says, yeah we have a lot of boots committing suicide before they making it to the sand box.  As I explain the second point, he say’s, I don’t have a problem, I said you may not, but your buddy may.  He is about to sign, to help his friends as the reporter comes around from the back of the car after talking to his wife to get contact info to use in the article.  The young man’s whole countenance changes in a split second as his eyes narrow, he balls his fists and he leans forward yelling who gave you that info, cross it out, I don’t want you to use it, I know how you newspaper people twist things around and lie, cross it out now.  As he closed the gap between himself and the reporter. The reporter crosses it out, the young man says that's not good enough so the reporter tears it off and hands it to him like it might be able to protect him. After getting the paper he goes to his wife and yells at her as she holds the baby and we watch as she cowers in her seat.  He comes back to me and still wants to sign, but can’t put the pen to paper as he realizes we will have his information.  I tell him not to sign and not to be angry with his wife, she only meant well.  He looks at me and said, I guess I was a little harsh with her.  I tell him I understand, giving him my card after shaking his hand telling him to call anytime he wants.  After he gets in his car and leaves, the reporter is sweating and I say, that is why I do this, no family should have to live in that fear, how do you think that child will grow up?  I hope you can convey the experience you just had  with your story.

October 23, Saturday:  I walked through Otto and Vilonia towards Conway having only one lady stop to thank me for what I am doing and buy me dinner.  After Valeria picked me up she was hell bend on going to this particular Resturant, Grampa’s in Cabot.  Finally learning on this odessy it is unwise to mess with a woman on a mission, besides she’s driving so I agree.  After arriving there and sitting down to eat we tell the waitress what we are doing, she signs the petition  then disappears with it into the kitchen and comes out with a young lady.  This 18 year old girl wants to hear our story, after we tell her she tells us her sister committed suicide a year and a half ago and she was the one to find her hanging in the barn. She has just started taking medication for she sees her sister everyday.  We have a long talk were she tells us the VA won’t help her because she isn’t in the service.  We ask her to start a support group to help others which will help her.  I ask her to walk with me tomorrow, she says yes.

October 24, Sunday:  This morning Faith who we talked to yesterday walked with me.  As we walked she talked about her sister and smiled as she remembered the good times they shared. She realized her sister was in so much pain she didn’t see a way out, not considering the consequences of her actions.  Faith said, it’s interesting that you started your journey on June 1st, that is the day my sister committed suicide.

October 25, Monday:  Got TV coverage yesterday from a young man who was passionate about our cause because it touched his life.  He said, my mother tried to commit suicide twice and I wonder will I when I get her age?  She looked OK on the outside, but you couldn’t tell what was going on inside.  Lately a lot of men I have come across have cried as we got into the topic.  They cry for their children, what they regret and what may come.

October 26, Tuesday:  Rolling Thunder Chapter 1 in AR escorted us to the VA in Russellville, we met them several days ago and agreed to speak with them.  Upon arriving they hadn’t known we were coming, but agreed to let us speak for Rolling Thunder.  The leader here got up and said, 3 days ago I saw a story and here he is.  Valeria and I spoke, when we were finished they were crying as they gave us a standing ovation.  The speakers after us threw away their notes and spoke from their hearts of their experiences that brought them to this day. Later I talked to Rhino, the chapter President and said that was the shortest into I ever heard.  He said, I like to be subtle, like a rock through a wind shield.

October 27, Wednesday:  As I stepped outside the camper I turn around as I hear someone yell out Hey.  A man comes over to me with his hand extended, saying, I’d like to thank you for what you are doing, people just don’t get it, I was a Marine in Korea.  I ask him to sign the front of our camper and as he does he tells me his first year he was stationed in Washington DC where he buried 8 to 9 Marines a day.  It got to me so I asked to be sent anywhere and they sent me to Korea. Just a block down the road I come to a drive in liquor Store where 3 men and a woman are getting something to start the day off.  2 men and the woman are Vets, they bless me for what I am doing, sign, give money and she tells me her ex husband came home from the war and he had changed so much they couldn’t make it work, then he committed suicide.  She finished her last sentence with tears. Near the end of my walk a young man pulls over in a truck and asks what I am doing, when I tell him he signs and says he recently got out of the USMC.  He said, I handled it better then a lot for I followed my order and believed in what I did.  A lot of them didn’t do so well, I’ve seen things I wouldn’t want any man to see, I can understand.

October 28, Thursday:  I left the town of Atkins this morning and when I made it into Pottsville I was waved across the street which was under construction.  They were a few years older then me and both Vets.  I jokingly said when are you going to put fish in your pond as I looked at this gaping hole with these monstrous pipes sticking out of the ground and a hill of ripped up asphalt right next to his driveway, making his yard look like Bearut after a bombing. He was upset because the state told him what they were going to give him for his land and if he didn’t like it he could go to court. When he talked to the road crew they just laughed at him and tore up his whole front yard.  He said he was ready to join one of these groups to bear arms.  A minute later he asks if I am right with the Lord, I said who do you think sent me walking, he said, I just had to ask.  I said that I think God might have a different plan then shooting the road crew and politicians.  He said there is a time to bear arms. From what I could see it wasn’t so much the Government doing this to him as it was how he was being treated by the people working in it. Maybe when the people of a country don’t care, it is the country not caring?

October 29, Friday:  I started late because it was 33 degrees before daylight, I wanted to give the sun time to warm the pavement.  Not long after I started a car with 3 women in it pulled over, the driver seemed familiar.  When they reached me she said, I met you at the opening of the VA in Russellville and these are 2 of the woman that work with me that wanted to met you.  We talked of how effective it is to change a person because it is people that change the country not the country changing people.  They knew my weakness and brought me chocolate and hot coco, saying that now I could run my 10 plus miles today. As I was ending my walk at a gas station outside of Delaware a woman wanted to know what I was doing so I told her and a man came up and said when he had come back from Vietnam he didn’t realize he had a problem as he tried to drink himself to death. He finally got help after being run around and even after he got help he was pushed aside, the new vets took priority.  While we were speaking a man stuck his head out the passenger side of the car his girlfriend drove to thank me for what we are doing.  He told me his father committed suicide last year because of things he had seen and done.  He said, I had wanted to go into the military when I got out of school in the 60′s, but my father wouldn’t let me.  He cried as he told me: I wonder how old you have to be not to cry anymore?

October 30, Saturday:  I stopped at a yard sale where the people  running it fixed me lunch and talked about how they want this war over, so their family can be united again.  They question the sense of this War and the others.  Being Veterans they followed orders, but after coming home having the luxury of time they wonder did we do the right thing. How can we win a war when the soldiers hands are tied behind  their backs by politicians.  A Vet told me that his sons are in the Military and that if they shoot someone who throws a grenade at them they can be brought up on charges of manslaughter for shooting an unarmed man.  Am I missing something here or is this insane, you go to defend your country and then can go to prison in your country for doing it?
Had a hero’s welcome into Paris riding in the sidecar of a motorcycle driven by Randel Zimmer head of Disabled Vets.

October 31, Sunday:  It started out cold, but ended hot on my walk. During it a pick up truck did a U turn and a man jumped out to thank me and say God bless you,I am a member of the Christian Motorcycle Association and I like what you are doing.  Of the 500 Marines he went over to Vietnam with  only 3 made it home, he said he put a song on a CD about it.  I said, I would like to hear that, he told me he didn’t have one with him.  He has 100% disability for PTSD, his wife is  divorcing him and he is losing his house, he signed the petition and headed on to church.  Ten minutes later he came back again, crossed the street, with tears in his eyes he said, God told me to give you all the money I had on me as he handed me his CD and all the money he had on him. IN Paris I met a biker headed to a Vietnam Veterans bikers meeting who said he would pass the word on, after he invited me to his home for breakfast.  I got some education about bikers.  The 1%er’s are the outlaws and it used to be if you wore 3 patches the outlaws
would tear off your colors, beat you, leave you in a ditch and sometimes kill you.  He told me that doesn’t happen so much any more.

November 1st, Monday:  After I finished walking we went to the school here in Paris and talked to a group of students which I find rewarding because when we talk I can tell they are listening, hopefully we say something that will be the catalyst to inspire them.  What I found interesting was that not only did the students stay to talk with us about their stories, but the teachers also shared about their experiences of their fathers after they came back from the War. Later that night we went in support of Randall, Ron, Larry, Jim, Danial, Larry and other members of the DAV to the Town Hall Meeting and witnessed them getting their building to assist other vets in the area.  What a great group of men and women working to help others, it is all strictly volunteers.

November 2nd, Tuesday:  I was told everything I write is about someone crying.  My father used to tell me, if you don’t cry you don’t care, after he would say things to make us cry like you don’t love me. In Arkansas we crossed the trail of tears which seems appropriate since we started this journey the whole walk has been America’s Trail of Tears.  From the birth of our Nation at Concord Mass. along Paul Revere’s Ride to Ground Zero then retreat of the Civil War to The Trail of Tears hearing the tales of Veterans and those left behind from a suicide past and present.  Yes everyday my stories are of America’s Tears as a WW II Vet cries treating me to lunch crying telling me the names of the loved ones he lost to War.

November 3,Wednesday:   After I walked to the out skirts of Fort Smith we went to the VFW. Mike Skidmore, the Commander of the Post and Edward Lavallee, the State Commander of Arkansas couldn’t do enough for us. I talked to Ed about images because I said I hadn’t gone into American Legions or VFW’s much because I thought it was an old mans drinking club, but now I see it different.  They give out millions for scholarships and reach out to help other Vets.  I told him my image wasn’t so hot back home because of my past. It is easier to remember the negative and assume the worst if that’s what you see. 

November 4, Thursday:  Made it into Oklahoma after going through Fort Smith.  Met several people today that had a suicide in their family related to the military.  As they start to share, their eyes water and their voice starts to break up.  Why is it that we think there is something different about a Vet when he does that?  What!  Because he was a soldier he’s not human or is it because we asked them to do the unspeakable and now if we let them talk about it’s harder to deny responsibility?

November 5, Friday:  In Spiro Oklahoma a member of the road crew stopped me to sign the petition.  As he did he said, my nephew just came back and he needs help now, stay hard on their asses.  I met several people whose loved ones have never been the same, one said now my sister has no life.  A lot of old vets saluted me today after signing, telling me how the VA would ignore them until they persisted in getting what was promised.  Why is the military treated like it is a business instead of people making the ultimate commitment to our country? One young man yelled out his truck, Fagot, then as I approached he speed away screaming FAGOT.  Nothing like getting another perspective.

November 6, Saturday:  Today I took a break from carrying my sign, but I still meet Veterans.  One in particular was a POW, but technically by the law he wasn’t because he hadn’t been held for 28 days or more, just 14 days.  What’s that all about?   One day being tortured would be more then enough for me.  His records were destroyed in front of him by his commanding officer.  It seems funny when I remember Paris Hilton or someone like that was in jail for minutes, it was such big news and here is a guy putting his life on the line and they wipe out a segment of his life with the swipe of a hand.

November 7, Sunday:  Walked 20 miles and got a call from a woman whose son is in the hospital after being blown up by and IED.  They are trying to discharge him while he is still in the Hospital.  She is upset that he wont get any more help soon as he is released.

November 8, Monday:  A mini van pulled over and a Marine combat veteran came over and invited me to his home.  He is on 22 different  medications for pain, ailments and side effect of the medication  he is on for PTSD that he got during his tour in the Middle East which was ended by an IED.  He is going to school so he can get a job to continue to contribute to his country and not be a burden.  Who could blame him if he quite trying, most people would quite because it is the easy thing, it may not be right, but it is easy.

November 9, Tuesday:  In Stigler OK it is warm and windy and it seems I have heard more stories of suicide in OK then anywhere else so far. Is it because in rural area’s more people join the military as a way to advance, are they more patriotic?  I think it is a combination, but because of it the war has a greater impact on their lives as I met my first person whose brother killed his child and wife before committing suicide.  If suicide was a plague the bible belt is the epic center.

November 10, Wednesday:  Today was the Marine Corps birthday and I  called my Marine, Tony who I have been in trouble with since we were 5, before we went into the Marine’s together.  Also I met a reporter from Ufallia OK that is one of another group that fights as hard as any Marine: a Mother of a Soldier in trouble. He wasn’t getting the help he needed after coming back from an operation that took it’s toll on him,  she was relentless until he got the help he needed and was entitled

November 11, Thursday: I started the day off with my birthday ritual, swimming naked, which I do to remind me I came from the sea and I truly have nothing that wasn’t given to me. With this in mind I am grateful for what I have. Later as I walked a mother and her children stopped me on the road to find out what I was doing. When I told her she shared how they had gone to a 3rd world country to help and ended up getting stabbed, robbed and had no one to help them. It seems people like to hear about misfortune, but don’t want to get involved. We hooked up with the VFW in Eufaula who feed us, spread our petition around, gave us a place to stay and money for food and gas on our trip. They are involved with many things to help the community as well as getting a cake for my birthday, it seems people are worried about me losing weight, God Bless them.

November 12, Friday: It was overcast as I walked through miles of prairie being uninterrupted till I stopped at a gas station for a
break. As I was leaving a woman rolling up in her car asked if she could take a picture, I said, sure, if you sign our petition. She
said, sure. While signing she said, I have 9 close family members who are military and told how her uncles helped a fellow Veteran who had been a prisoner of war on the Philippine Islands, they found him staked out on the beach with bamboo jambed in his mouth. People had thought he was crazy after he got back, but as his story came out because of her uncles, which wasn’t till late in the 80′s they started to understand why. What is it that they say about first impressions?

November 17, Wednesday: As I walked out of Seminole OK I noticed a young man in fatigues carrying his military issued backpack on the opposite side of the street walking in the other direction.  I crossed over to talk to him as he stared at my sign.  I asked if he would sign the petition, at which he mumbled incoherently refusing to make eye contact and continued on his march. It is easier to reach them before they get home., the paint is still wet

November 18, Thursday: Most days I walk, 3 to 5 people make an effort to stop.  Today within the span of 20 minutes a young man stopped and talked about his 2 tours and how 2 fellow soldiers recently came home on leave.  One beat their spouse and the other was going to kill his family, but just ended up holding the gun to his head.  Another young man slowed down enough to curse and give me the finger.  And my final visitor for the day was in the Coast Guard in the late 60′s, they told him he would be saving chicks in bikini’s.  He ended up going up rivers in Vietnam, he didn’t see any chicks up there.  He said politicians are like hemorrhoid, no matter what you call them they
still hurt.

Friday, November, 19: On my way to Big Pink (Norman) from Pink (the area is called Pink because the church there was painted pink)I was stopped by a local police officer who before he asked me what I was doing wanted to see both my hands.  He seemed a little up tight saying someone said my sign read, Commit Suicide.  I replied, obviously he didn’t take my advise.  He wouldn’t sign the petition because he was on duty, so I gave him our card and told him to sign on the website. Went to lunch with a family who does ministry with horses.  They asked how Jesus fit into what we were doing, I said, who do you think got me to walk?  They didn’t question me further and helped support our efforts with a donation because they saw our actions where our loudest prayer. We also went to the Oklahoma VFW headquarters, American legion, Disabled American Vets and saw Sgt Grit.

November 20, Saturday: The family we met yesterday stopped me on the road to wish me luck and get a picture for the local paper.  The same cop from yesterday stopped me again and said, you didn’t get to far did you?  I said I had things to do yesterday, did you check out our website and sign the petition?  He said, no.  I said stick out your hand, so he did then I smacked it and said, now are you going to sign it?  He gave me a sheepish grin and  said Yes.  Two red trucks stopped, one after the other, the person in the first truck gave me a history lesson about why we are in the trouble we are.  I thought he would never stop and I couldn’t figure out what he was doing other then talking and wanting someone else to do something, so I finally told him that I was on a mission and had to continue.  The others in the second truck stopped to sign the petition.  The young couple said they saw me earlier, looked up our web sight then came to see me to personally sign the petition.  Who do you like more, truck number 1 or number 2?

Monday, November 22:  Today a woman stop to tell me that she is seeing this a lot on TV and someone should do something about it.  She left as fast as she came, I wonder who this someone is she is referring to? I was told by someone working in the VA they refuse everyone that applies because 80% give up.  Then out of the 20 that try again only 2 will go on.  Sounds like my issue with ATT on reimbursing me for money they have been taking on a disconnected line.  They got what they wanted, my money because I got so angry I would never deal with them again because I would be so upset that they could just lie to me and steal my money then give me the run around, didn't they have enough, oh wait a minute, it's the share holders.
 
November 23, Tuesday: As I walked out of Tuttle into Manico a pick up rolled to a stop in front of me and a young man stepped out crying. Thank you for what you are doing I have a younger brother that went in after 9/11 to do some good, after 8 years they discharged him for  medical reasons. The first Platoon he was in everyone got killed, but him: the next platoon everyone got killed but him and he was torn to shreds by an IED. Shrapnel through his neck, liver, back, he is also deaf, and has PTSD. He had to fight to get 40% disability so now after his wife left he and his handicapped son who lost his SC benefits live on 800 a month and he is unable to get a job. I am afraid every day that he will commit suicide. Welcome home soldier. I wonder how many different ways this story will be told before the ending will be changed?

November 24, Wednesday: As I walked the highway a young man, looked to still be in high school yelled out, Moron as he drove by. It’s always nice to know your on the right track. Half and hour later 2 high school girls stopped to find out what I was doing then made a special trip to bring me something to drink.  Before ending the day I came to a Deli in the middle of no where,  it was an oasis. Everyone signed the petition and talked about people they knew affected first hand by the war. They continued to talk
politics as they sat on the bench by the road in front of the store. It seems no matter who or where I go everyone talks politics and some ideas are great, but it doesn’t matter if they are never carried out.

November 25, Thursday: We drove up to Enid and spent the day with my cousin. We should give thanks that one of the things all military  personnel are trained to do is defend their country and protect the people in it. If they weren’t we could have 18 McVey’s a day on the lose instead of 18 suicides, bet we would find a way to change that real quick.

November 26, Friday: Stopped at a tire store before walking and one out of the 5 that signed the petition said when his son had gotten discharged he was unable to get work because he had been in the military.  This caused him to go into a depression: what is it they say about idle hands?

November 27, Saturday: On my way to Eakly Oaklahoma through Binger on route 152, a vet with one leg stopped to offer a lift.  I turned it down, but we talked about a civilian mentality apposed to a military one. He said, I have to get out of the house and drive around to get some space from my wife who has no idea how I look at things after my training in the military. A little while later a married couple my age stopped to give me lunch and find out what I was doing.  They told me their son had come home after several tours while in the Marines.  His buddy just got home and is going through a divorce and will be moving in with their son.  It would be great if we could prepare them for their next greatest job, being a health American  raising a family.

November 28, Sunday:  I walked with 25 mph winds from the SW gusting up to 40 mph winds.  No one stopped and I can’t blame them.

November 29, Monday: Walked out of Earkly into Cordell where out of the 5 that signed the petition one has a brother that had come home recently.  He wishes he would go for help because he isn’t doing so well since he has been home.

November 30, Tuesday: A lot of people passed me today and only one person, a lady stopped to ask if I needed a ride and offered me a drink.  She had gotten out of her car ran to me then walked back to her car shivering and crying after telling me how it  affected her. The weather reminded me of this summer when I didn’t want to know how hot it was, now I don’t want to know how cold or windy it was

December 1, Wednesday: At the end of my walk a mother pulled over and wanted to know what the sign was about. Her son shot himself with a 40 caliber gun and lived after the bullet went through both frontal lobes, blinding him as well as causing other brain damage.  She had been with him 2 hours before he did it and there was no indication that he had any problem.  There is an average of one suicide a month in the schools in this rural area of Oklahoma.  Does one person committing suicide give another permission to do the same?

December 3, Friday: When I walked into Sayre 2 men, who a father and son who filled the cab of the late model pickup they were
riding in stopped and asked what I was doing.  After I finished telling them he smiled and said, if you were going to committee
suicide I would give you my gun, I said I’m not but, I’ll take the gun anyway and will you sign, he said, no and wouldn’t give me his gun. Guess he figured he wouldn’t get it back, and drove off laughing.  I assume he was never in because those that were in tell me, isn’t it great that our soldiers died to protect the rights of people like them. I am now getting my kicks on hwy 66 when a man that had served in WWII stopped and couldn’t understand why Vets were killing themselves.  I said your war was the last one where you were all hero’s fighting a force of evil where everybody pitched in.  The wars since haven’t been that way and many of them lost what they fought for when they return home.  He said, I don’t have any problems, I said, I’m glad, not everybody has the strength of conviction that you did, my father was bothered, he cleaned out the ovens at Autswitch and watch 12 year old’s executed that were members of the wolf pack.  He said I wish you luck, I said you don’t or you would sign the petition.  He said, I’ll sign it.  He did and left.  He came back an 1/2 hour later with his friend who was in Vietnam, who wouldn’t talk or make eye contact with me and scribbled his name off the petition. Highway 66 is a shadow of rte 40, which is within eye sight and all but forgotten.  A young man and woman stop me and after signing tell me they are putting a new cross on the road side for their mother’s memorial, she died 15 years ago.  The girl was 4 at the time, the memorial is like so many countless others that I have grown numb to, it mattered to her and was still fresh in her memory. The old one was knocked down by a lawn mower and run over on the  side of the road.  The only ones that seem to care are the ones that put it up.   To others it’s a joke, just like to my two friends who
wanted to give me a gun.

December 4, Saturday: As I walked the wrong way down a forgotten highway, route 66, lost in silence a truck came up behind me going the wrong way.  When he rolled to a stop besides me I said, you startled me sneaking up like that on me going the wrong way on a one way highway.  He said, it’s Oklahoma, do you need a ride, I said, no.  He told me he is a minister so I asked to speak to his congregation, he said, OK

December 5, Sunday: Valeria and I spoke at Henry’s church, Assembly of God, we discovered he was in the National Guard working on returning equip. and contracted a rare blood disease and is denied any help from the VA.  His wife was in the Marines and was discharged for medical reasons.  They aren’t bitter or angry and still love this country, just disappointed in their treatment.
After leaving them it is hard for me to believe they aren’t angry especially when he gets so sick he has to use a walker and is unable
to work or take care of his family.  Who was it that said, give me your down trodden?

December 6, Monday: At the end of my walk out of Shamrock we were invited by Gene, the Post Commander of the American legion there to see his herd of Buffalo.  I was in awe of them as I stood amongst them as they came to eat.  They are able to jump 8 feet in the air, it was like standing next to explosive energy in motion.  I feel they are a symbol of America.  Later at the post we talked about our plans to acquire property making a retreat for Vets that have fallen through the cracks.

December 7, Tuesday: Made it to McLean where we were received with  open arms.  They have a museum here displaying Devil’s Rope, another name for barbed wire.  An appropriate name for something used in every War and to restrict man and beast alike off from what was once theirs.

December 8, Wednesday: Today as I walked I saw Santa driving a Fed Ex truck and I thought, Santa I have been pretty good, so for Christmas I was hoping you could give me the glue to mend a million broken hearts and the fire that will replace the light extinguished in the eyes of all those who have lost a loved one to suicide? We met a nephew of Davey Crockett which is interesting as we have seen his Great Uncle’s handy work all through Tenn.  What are the odds, wonder if there’s any message in that?  Of the three men in his store 2 were Vets and one is still punishing himself for it.

December 9, Thursday: My second day walking on interstate 40 a young man stopped his car and came over with 2 sodas to say thanks for what I am doing, he’s a medic in the Army, been in Iraq and getting out in 2013. As I walk across Texas I think how similar it is to the Ocean I grew up on, that sense of vastness.  I felt it was something so large it couldn’t be contained, making me feel free.  Did the first Cowboys and Sailors ever think anyone could own what they traveled across?  Now with the aid of Devils rope and laws they are both penned in and so is the freedom of those that crossed them.  Maybe the only free people are those that are fearless, that can’t be contained with laws and Devil’s rope: can it?  We ended the day at a cross in Groom Texas that is 190 height we literally slept in it’s shadow.

December 10, Friday: Before Valeria drove me to my starting point she cracked open an energy drink.  I told her the sound reminded me of my father pulling the tab on a Budweiser before breakfast and telling me I drove him to drink.  She responded without missing a beat, it’s amazing he ever quit.  I laughed. We never really change things by law, I used to think I could change
somebody by manipulate them, but it wasn't a lasting change.  Up north a lot of the patriotism seemed to be for financial gain.  Here I  don’t see many signs in the windows,  but I see more support of our soldiers. In Texas they believe freedom is worth dying for, but it doesn’t seem so clear with these wars, it’s not the Alamo

December 12, Sunday: Got escorted by one of Texas,s finest, the State Police off of I 40.  Talking with them, one told me he had been in the Coast Guard.  He asked if anyone had a problem with me I told him that Vets were the angriest with me because the sight of me brings up issues they haven’t resolved.  Before he gave me a ride he asked if I had any illegal weapons, I said I don’t know, I just have this knife and showed him. He said it’s not illegal, it has to be over 5 1/2 inches long.  I get in the back seat then he radio’s in, saying I had to do that so they know where I am in case you stab me.  He shared that his father was in the Air Force over in Vietnam and been angry ever since.  He hates the Government, doesn’t trust the politicians and resents me for being a policeman.  He signed the petition.

December 13, Monday:  I was interviewed by channel 7 on my walk past Bushland from Amarillo Texas.  Later Valeria and I met with Jack Barnes from America Supports Texas.  When we talked one of the things that distorted him most was the death of two of the young men whose family didn’t want them on his list of fallen Hero’s because they had committed suicide.  He slumped a little in his chair and got that distant look and whispered they answered the call like all the rest and their families won’t even acknowledge them, it’s a tragedy.  What do you do?

December 14, Tuesday: Last night Jack Barns from America supports Texas asked me what has been my greatest challenge, I couldn’t really answer him.  Walking this morning I realized my greatest challenge at times has been to continue to walk only having 12,000 signatures after 7 months with lots of media coverage.  I drift to the edge of if they don’t care why should I, does it matter, but I always come back to I care, it matters to me and this has become more then getting signatures. After that internal conversation a woman stopped and said, I saw you on the news and I wanted to see someone who cared, I come from a military family and it is a shame. the way they are treated.  After she signed the petition she turned around and drove another 10 miles back to Amarillo.  An hour later she pulls up again and says I brought you lunch and hands me a bag saying God bless the road you walk on and keep you safe, bless your petition: then gets in her car turns around and heads back to Amarillo. Opening the bag I laughed at her idea of lunch a coke, milky way and bag of chips.  Then I cry for God had sent me an Angel I didn’t see because I was looking for wings and a halo not an over weight woman with bad teeth giving me junk food.My hope is that today I was someones Angel and I pray that everyone is someones Angel.

December, 15, Wednesday: I walked into a steady wind of 20 mph ratcheting up to 30 from Vega past Adrian.  If I was a writer I would say the wind pushed my eyeballs to the back of my skull, but being a Marine I’d say it was a nice day.  Crossing the town line leaving Vega a truck did a u turn and a cowboy asked what I was doing.  When I told him he said he got to enjoy Vietnam with the Army and if he had to do it over, he would be a Marine, he had developed an admiration for them overseas.  He asked where I was from and I told him originally from Long Island but, I had been down south so long I don’t even like Yankees.  He laughed and wished me luck. Later a van pulled over and a young man got out handing me a bottle of water to say thanks.  All of us had been in the Marines as he points to the van.  I said would you all sign it, he said we’re on a mission for the Federal Gov. right now.  So I hand him a card and said they can sign on our website, he said they will.  They were all wearing sunglasses in an unmarked van with tinted glass and some pretty neat anteanes sticking out, did a u turn and sped away.

December 16, Thursday:  Today was a day of firsts, walking in the snow, crossing another time zone, being 20 to 30 feet away from a live wolf and having a tractor trailer stop for me. One vet pulled over that has been out of the Army for 2 years saying he should have gotten some help and his friend who is still in is doing time in the brig because of PTSD.  I asked him to pass it on, he said, Roger that.  The other Vet that stopped said he saw me on the news and told me to be careful.  I said I was and God watches over me.  He said, so do a lot of other people.

December 17, Friday: I don’t understand how a man can rob a store with a gun and get life, another man robs thousands with a pen and becomes a role model.  A celebrity commits suicide and it is all over the media for weeks as a tragedy and a soldier commits suicide and he is weak. I am reminded by the events of Bernie Madar and family. PTSD is caused by events lived through that are so horrible we work not to remember them.  It is like sweeping dirt under the carpet so long it become visible.  How come we encourage civilians to talk about their loses, whether it be the witnesses of 9/11 or a car accident, but soldiers aren’t?  We are built the same, a lose is a lose, a tragedy is a tragedy: civilian or military

December 18, Saturday: Today I had been interviewed by a radio station where one of the interviewers made a remark attacking the governments roll in the present situation.  I said what our government does is a reflection of what the people are doing.  I look at myself first and correct that for what is the government, but us?

December 19, Sunday: I was stopped by two State Troopers who were glad I wasn’t going to committee suicide in 18 days, then he added I am glad your not committing suicide at all.  I don’t write much about the kindness of all of those regular Americans, the salt of the earth that each hold us up with a meal here a few dollar their a place to spend the night and share in their lives, please forgive me it isn’t that I take it for granted.  It’s just that I get so wrapped up in the plight of those pushed to the side I forget to honor those who are working everyday to do the right thing.  Forgive me

December 20, Monday: Made it to Tucumcari Texas where we were feed at Jim’s Barbecue place next to his Tucumcari Ranch Supply, he even arranged the local news paper to do an interview. During the interview the reporter wanted me to make a political statement attacking the government and I said I don’t have the information to make an educated statement. My stand is not to attack anyone, who am I to judge another when I have committed every sin known to man.  It is a waste of time and energy, the people or organizations I confront will only spend time defending themselves.   I admire any group that works to make a peaceful difference.  We are supported by group that are controversial: PTSD affects all of us from Cub Scouts to the KKK. I hope my actions speak the loudest of all, my day starts walking from 4 to 7 hours where the first thing I do is pray that I do God’s will, I pray for those affected by PTSD and the families of those who have lost a loved one to suicide.  I wave to people as I walk, when people stop me I listen to their story giving them a safe place with no judgement, I cry with them I laugh with them and for some I carry a part of their burden away with me. Everyday I cry for I see the face of PTSD, I look into the eyes of those who have lost a love and I am that person for a moment as they embrace me. After I walk I get picked up and we go eat and get more signatures and talk to the media then I do the blog and answer emails.  I like to watch a movie before I go to bed and when we get a chance check out local museums and always talk to locals about what we are doing.  Then we do the same thing again the next day.

December 21, Tuesday: Walked from Tucumcari to exit 321 on route 40 and a Ford Bronco pulled over and the window rolled down.  A young man stuck out his head and asked where I was going and if I needed a ride.  I said no, but could you sign my petition to get mandatory counseling for military personnel.  He said, yeah, I know about PTSD, I just got out of prison, it is a predatory environment, your never the same when you get out.  I was hoping you would ride with me, I have been driving for 30 hours straight and could use the company.  I said, no I want to walk, I felt torn to ride with him for he looked like he was fighting back emotions that he carried out of prison with him and could use a listening ear.       It seems enough that he was punished, it doesn’t seem to end after he is released.  Seems a parallel to our men fighting over seas, when is their service over as they seem to carry the war home.

December 22, Wednesday: Before my walk I got a call from my sister, she said I got a glimpse of what you feel. I had gone to UPS to resend that package to you that was returned.  When I went in there was no Christmas music, or any other music for that matter, no decorations, no one made eye contact and the woman behind the counter was all business.  While they were repacking it I told them what you were doing and why: one woman started crying, I started crying and the woman who was all business quietly said, my best friend came back from Iraq and has PTSD, as she looked down at the wrapping. I told her I was glad I was unable to get the package before so she could have that experience.  She said, I like how you can see God’s hand in all things.

December 23, Thursday: Today a young girl stopped by the side of the road, walked to me in the freezing wind keeping her hands under her arms and walked with me past her car.  Wanting to know what I did and to feel what I felt as I walked she asked questions then told me her story.  She founded a suicide group in Tulsa OK after her father and cousin had committed suicide.  When we parted she was crying as she said, God Bless you, through blue lips.

December 24, Friday: After finishing my walk we were invited out to dinner with 2 Vets and their wives.  One had been an officer in the Air Force who retired after 21 years and the other had been in the Army for a tour to Vietnam.  My Army friend had thought he was alright till in the 80′s he had a flashback triggered by watching the news about the Gulf War.  He ended up waking up in a VA hospital not knowing how he got there.  He said, I will always have PTSD, but now I have tools to help me deal with it.  The officer’s wife cried her son has come home but isn’t the man that went.

December 25, Saturday: We spent Christmas with Valeria’s sister and her family.  She told us when her youngest daughter went to school they told her she was slow, but when she grew up would be able to be a waitress.  She said, thank you very much and home schooled her daughter.  She is now a mathematician holding a very good job in a highly sophisticated company. Look at how much we have already invested in our soldiers for leadership skills, team work and special skills.  Just a little more would make the difference for some of them between suicide, living under a bridge, incineration, drug and alcohol abuse or a happy and healthy life.

December 26, Sunday: Was back on the asphalt again thinking I was alone because no one stopped,  I realized I’m not unique, a lot of people think they are isolated if no one interacts with them in any way.  What a simple act to smile at someone, to listen to them, I know it makes a difference to me.

December 27, Monday: After walking today Valeria and I spent the rest of the day with my two sons, their wives and my grandchildren who came from Alaska and Denver to meet us in Raton NM.  I was thrilled to be in the company of those who have taught me so much about love and let me be myself.  How many soldiers coming home lose their support system?  70 to 80% of those that commit suicide do so because of a failed relationship. It is interesting the resistance I get when I say we want mandatory counseling, people say it is unconstitutional.  We don’t say that about sending them to boot camp even if they know how to use a weapon and are in good shape.   When they come back and say I am fine nothing is wrong with me send me home, I am well adjusted and am now ready to raise a family.  I think it just as crazy to say OK go raise a family, have a nice life.  We are just as obligated to give them the training and tools for this job just as well as combat.

December 28, Tuesday: I didn’t walk today because it was to late to start after we got back from seeing my sons.  So we stopped at a Restaurant and as we were sitting there a man came up and asked, are you Ron Zaleski.  As usual when a stranger asks me my name a surge of adrenaline course through me as my first thought is what is this about and what agency is he with.  The other day I walked no one stop, but he had seen me and check out our website and was glad he spotted our camper out side so he and his wife could thank us, another Marine.

December 29, Wednesday: Today I made it to ext 243 which has a name Moligan for a town that no longer exists.  Before I stopped walking a car pulled up behind me and a man got out embracing me welcoming me home.  I told him I had never left because my orders where changed, he said he never went over either, but he was prepared to go at the time.  He had his daughter take a picture with our backs to them to symbols what Americans do to those who answer the call to be in harms way.

December 30, Thursday: As I walked into 30 mph winds a car pulled over a ways up from me, when I got closer a man of middle east origin jumped out laughing and took my picture.  I yelled into the wind for him to sign the petition he laughed, ran to his car and peeled out.  I went to a dark place that moment: is this a joke, am I a joke?      I had planned to walk 13 miles, but only walked 9: the wind picked up to 50 mph as I walked off an exit to a gas station called Circle C as the snow went sideways and the temperature dropped.  I got whipped around several times and had limited visibility, a good time to stop.  The manager said they weren’t set up for camper, but after hearing what we do he went out of his way to make sure we got electric and were out of the wind, God bless random acts of kindness.

December 31, Friday: Today I didn’t walk, the winds were 30 mph plus and the temperature was 8 degrees without a wind chill.  I chomp at the bit feeling a sense of urgency and I am not doing enough.  I want immediate gratification, but realize we are working to change an attitude that has been with us forever.  Such as we are separate, no one cares, you can’t change it and the only way I know to change that is to show people and it takes time.

January 1, Saturday: Before I started Valeria checked the weather and it was 11 degrees with winds of 13 and rising.  I decided that I would be unable to get in any kind of mileage barefoot so I bought a pair of moccasins.  When I put them on the counter, I cried: I felt I let people down.  I realized it was my ego, thinking I was so bad and tough, how I did this walk wasn’t as important as doing it.  I am nobody special, anybody could do what I am doing, I am just available.      As I walked into the wind my feet were sweating in mocosins when a car with 3 young people in it pulled over.  The girl ran up and said I read about you in Florida, you are my hero, I cried again, I’m no hero, I’m just a guy trying to do the right thing.

January 2, Sunday: Today started out with winds of 10 plus and a temperature below freezing so I wore the moccasins for most of the day.  Being the near mortal that I am it still bummed me out.  Walking into the wind for hours I think, what is truth, things I thought indisputable like scientific truths have changed, my truths have changed as I get more information and experiences.      Today my truth is I care and I can make a difference one person at a time.  It must have been the state troopers truth that stopped me today for he said to call if we need anything at all and thank me for what we are doing as I continued on the interstate.

January 3, Monday: Made it to Moriarty yesterday after 20 miles of pounding pavement and met Joe who owned the RV camp we stayed at. Before I walked today we talked, he had been a police officer who worked with gangs and left the force because of politics, now he says he’s been hiding for 7 years by not getting involved. Was interviewed by the press at the RV Camp and had a vet sign the front of camper that was a friend of Joe’s, he reminded me of Grizzly Adams holding back tears.  When I finally got to walk I was interviewed by a reporter from the independent paper who was a vet. He got out from the Air Force 2 years ago, he was a photographer, as I told him why I walked his eyes welled with tears as he remembered the photos he took.

January 4, Tuesday: Spent another night at Joe’s who was kind enough to give us what we needed.  I thanked him before we left and he looked like a different man, he said, you have inspired me, I am on fire.  We hugged and with out words we looked into one another’s eye’s and said our goodbye. I switched to rt 66 so that I could walk by the Vet Integration Center where we will talk this Friday at 1 pm. It was set up by the State Suicide Hot line, they are losing their funding and hope we can help bring awareness to this issue. A marine stopped and said your not going to light yourself up are you, when we talked he said he could help as he is active in bringing change.  Several people I approached on my walk said no, I wonder if I scared them off because I wasn’t wearing a 3 piece suit and shoe’s?

January 5, Wednesday: Today I took a day off, which means I didn’t walk, but Valeria and I still enrolled people we met to sign the petition, correspond with others and talk to locals about speaking engagements.  At times we find some people just want to impose their will on ua in the guise of I am concerned.  You can’t do this etc., their is no hope.  I think they are saying they won’t and they have no hope.Got an email from a woman who saw me on rt 66 to thank me and let me know she signed the petition, it sure pays to advertise.  What do we have to do to get people to sign the petition, what do you have to do to get others to sign?

January 6, Thursday:  After doing two radio spots set up for us by Laura from the State Suicide Hot Line in New Mexico she dropped me off where I had stopped coming into Albuquerque.  Two policemen stopped me, the first time I have been patted down on this walk, how friendly can you get, I thought he was practicing for the airlines.  After they found out what I was doing they thanked me and asked what branch I was in, I said, the Marines, is there another branch?  He said if you were a Marine there wasn’t.  Several people stopped to thank me and tell me they read the story in the Albuquerque Journal or heard it on the radio.  One man stopped to thank me, he is a veteran with 100% PTSD disability which he has learned to deal with and counsel others in dealing with similar issues.

January 7, Friday: Today I spoke alone at the Veteran Integration Center, it wasn’t the same or as impact as when Valeria speaks with me.  She has a different perception that people can identify with. Every soldier on the front line has 7 men behind him to support him, I have one woman doing the work of 7 and I feel a great loss and emptiness when she isn’t there.At the center I was called a Hero by combat veterans who I apologized to for I don’t share that feeling.  After speaking a group walked with me for a few miles.  It’s good to share this journey with those that get the sense of urgency.

January 9, Sunday: When I got to the Western Boarder of Albuquerque a large man stepped out of his truck to shake my hand.  He had been in the Army and after getting discharged he ended up dealing with his issue of PTSD in solitary confinement.  You see he won, but he lost by beating 3 men. Another car pulled over and a young man, through my eyes a boy.  He told me he had joined the Navy and was concerned because his future father in law had attempted suicide when he was discharged from the Marines and he didn’t know what to expect or what to do.  I told him  when he has a problem he should talk to his father in law because he will be able to help him through that time.

January 11, Tuesday: Today I didn’t walk and went to counseling because how can I tell others that we are human and if anyone of us goes through a traumatic experience it has the same effect. I didn’t go easy, most of those I have seen who have gone for
help do so because a loved one steps up and goes through a lot to be their advocate.  I am lucky to have that advocate that does it because they care.  It has to be love because with what they have to put up with I don’t think there is enough money for that job.

January 12, Wednesday: A Marine we met took me to breakfast and while we ate he told me how after 4 years into his marriage of 24 years his wife became a paraplegic.  When she first went into the hospital the staff told her that 99.9% of the marriage’s fail because of this change, while he was standing there.  He smirked, being the Marine that he was and told me, I was trained not to leave the dead and wounded behind, she’s my surrogate Marine.  She has redefined the word courage for me.  I said, I hope I never find out if I have that courage. He said, I hope you don’t either. While at breakfast work was being done on the camper donated by
United RV in Albuquerque one of the crew was Gary a combat veteran who had recently gotten out of the Army.  He had done 2 tours over seas and had later been assigned to guard nuclear weapons.  I felt as I owed him an apology for being a noncombat veteran.  He said, you don’t have to, what your doing is important.  Before I left he said there is something I want to give you, he went into his office and brought me out his cover.

January 13, Thursday:   Today I had more people stop me then I have ever had in a day and we are on an interstate highway in the most rural area we have ever been.  Only 2 weren’t Indians, but they did a first for me, they made a tractor trailer take a u turn.
What amazes me is that the Indians have been robbed, killed and discriminate against, but yet they fight with us shoulder to shoulder.The elders have a strength I have seen in mountains.  One warrior I met didn’t go to his cleansing ceremony when he returned from war but,b did the path of the white man, drugs and alcohol.  It took him many years to make it home. The other day a college professor and her daughter stopped me on their way to Flagstaff.  After they found out what we were doing by going on her phone the mother told me her daughter was so excited when  they got out of the car and she asked why, she said, because I want to see someone who cares.  The daughter was 10.

January 14, Friday: Today around Big Sky two young men stopped me to sign the petition, one of them had a brother who had been in and was unable to speak to him about his experiences. They asked me why it seems more people are committing suicide now then 30 years ago.  I said I don’t have the statistics, but I do know there is more being said about it now which makes it seem like there is more.  Also the speculation about the wars we are in now may have an effect as well on those who were in it.  How good do you think a soldier can feel if he  is told he was fighting for oil instead of freedom?

January 15, Saturday: When I got to exit 81 on I 40 after two ladies stopped to give me lunch and a sheriff signed the petition a state trooper stopped.  It wasn’t the usually stop as he did a u turn on a one way highway and almost hit a tractor trailer to pull up in front of me spraying cinders all over.  He got out like he was going to draw his weapon and yelled for me to get off the interstate.  I said check out our website, he said I don’t have to as he pointed off the interstate and didn’t go till I was up the off ramp. An Indian stopped that had seen me then went home to get some food for me then came and signed the petition.  Also met Phil a Vet that took care of us for the night and said we restored his faith in Mankind.

January 16, Sunday: Phil and I talked about the Indians and he said they were poor, I said there are 2 types of poor, one is stuff and the other is spiritual.  I would rather be poor in stuff then spiritual. On my walk I came up to a run down house with no trespassing
signs, 2 dogs barking, a lock on the gate with a woman in the yard. She said come on over theirs an opening in the fence, I don’t get many visitors.  She told me how she is running for president, I thought you would have to be crazy to have a job where the special interest groups that get you elected tell you what to do, if you don’t they have you shot and you are a scapegoat for the public and media.  Then after talking to her awhile I realized she could handle the job, she was crazy, but then again who am I to say as I walk barefoot across the country and doubt my own sanity?

January 17, Monday:  I walked through Thoreau past the Continental Divide and on my way an Indian Marine stop and said at first he thought I was working for Burger King until he read the sign.  He thanked me and asked where I come from, I told him NY, but I’ve been on the reservation so long I don’t like white men either.  He laughed and said, so you think Custer had it coming to him.  I said, I my book he did.  We hugged and he drove off after giving me his USMC tie clip. As he rode away I realized on this trip as I have gone through area’s with different beliefs, such as the Irish with the English up at the Boston Tea Party, Ground Zero, the Civil War Trail, the Trail of Tears I get to understand their side and how they feel.  From where I stand it doesn’t seem like any war ever really ended and no one really ever won.

January 18, Tuesday: On my way to Gallop a few natives stopped and one, a veteran sent his daughter to sign and bring me some water. Phil also visited me and adjusted my back on the side of the road, talk about curb service.  He did that because he believes in what we are doing.  It is amazing to me what a belief does.  It changes the world faster then most things I have seen because people start from the place of being which doing comes from.

January 19, Wednesday: As I strolled through Gallop a young man and woman stopped me to ask what I was doing.  The man fought back tears as he told me his father was diagnosed 100% disabled with PTSD, and questioningly said, but he’s OK as I saw years of abuse etched on his face. He also welcomed me home, when he did that he welcomed all soldiers home, unfortunately they don’t hear it and have to get it second hand from me or others.  It is to bad because it doesn’t have the same impact kind of like being at a live concert verse’s hearing the radio. A Mayoral candidate walked with me for 2 hours.  He is 22
years old, Navajo, gay and well informed.  There have been 5 people killed this year alone by the trains, most of them Veterans, teenagers have been committing suicide and most of them have done so because of having a parent overseas in the war while they live with extended families.  He gave me hope in that a young person wants to make a difference and is open about who he is.  At that age being civic minded wasn’t on my radar neither was being open about anything.

January 20, Thursday: I walked in the desert from NM into Arizona and on the way I met a couple of Native Veterans from my era that signed. A little later a camper pulled over and the driver said my brother is a vet and he was to talk to you, he is on the other side.  I go to the passenger side and her brother is drinking and asks if I need help.  I said just to sign the petition.  He tells me he did 2 tours and how when he got his cherry busted (got shot at) he went crazy. When he got home they put him on medication after diagnosing him with PTSD.   He said, it isn’t working so I drink to keep a buzz on. I said it will never go away, but if you don’t face it, it will get worse.  He said he can’t talk to his mom, wife or children.  I said drinking won’t help, but if you help others coming back it will help heal you.  He said 2 of his buddies committed suicide, one shot himself the other jumped off a cliff and he has thought about it. When we parted I could see something different was on his mind that he hadn’t thought of before.

January 21, Friday: My first full day in Arizona on route 40 and a car pulls over in front of me and a man gets out to find out what I am doing.  After I tell him he shares that his son went overseas with Airborne.  Then he starts to cry saying he wasn’t there for his son as he grew up because of drugs and alcohol.  Now he is over seas and he can’t be there for him. So he has done the next best thing he can and drop to his knees and prays to God.  It is something he had never done till now, I don’t care who you are when you get in over your head you reach out and hope someone is there to grab your hand

January 22, Saturday: At the end of the day we stopped at an old rte 66 dinner in a town that is drying up to meet a young couple.  He has a hammer hanging over his head: he knows when he is going to die.  He said at first it was hard, now I live everyday.  Before if there was nothing in it for me I was on the couch, now I like to help people. How many people go on like they will never die so they actually never live, thinking they have time to do it later?

January 23, Sunday: At the end of my walk just before Valeria came to pick me up at mile marker 316 a State Trooper pulled over and told me it was against the law to walk this road, but if I got a bike it would be OK.  When I told him what we were doing and how far we had come, he said, you keep walking.  We talked till Valeria arrived and I found out that almost all the men in his family had been in the military and he was glad we were doing something.  Before we parted he choked up and said his uncle had committed suicide after he got back from them war.  I said, it’s OK the pain never goes away.  He blessed us on our journey as he turned to leave.

January 24, Monday: Today no one stopped me as I walked in the tetrified Forest.  I found a Blackberry, unable to reach the owner I
took it with me hoping we would find someway to find them, it would have been easy to leave it there.  It seems we treat people the same if we aren’t immediately successful with them we discard them.  The homeless and angry veterans are our discarded cell phones, we leave them by the side of the road till they get run over and we don’t have to deal with them.

January 25, Tuesday: This morning before my feet hit the pavement I talked to Congressman Roe’s aid who said, within 2 weeks we will let you know when you are to speak before the committee for Veteran Affairs.  A great way to start my walk of site seeing and no company.

January 26, Wednesday: Left Holbrook and before I made it to Joseph City 2 men from the road crew who saw me yesterday stopped to give me water and a sandwich.  While signing the petition one told me he was in the Army Special Forces. Past Joseph City a man and woman older then me stopped, if you can believe that.  They had seen me over 200 miles back and were glad they got a chance to stop and talk.  They said, we were just talking about this, something should be done. It seems a lot of people feel this way, but don’t know what they can do.  How far wrong can you go if you do anything instead of
nothing?

January 27, Thursday: When I walked into Windslow AZ a car had pulled over and a woman got out.  She said, I had seen you at the Veterans Integration Center over 200 miles back, how are you doing: I want to speak National for PTSD.  I suffered from PTSD for 20 years after getting out of the army, what should I do.  I said well if you want to speak National you should start a support group in your area and speaking locally.  If you wrote a book about your experience it would let people know your story.  I don’t have a book making it difficult for people who have never met me to know what to expect. The key is to do something, a thought and a talk are a start till you take the next step that people can see.

January 28, Friday: Just left the corner in Winslow Arizona and met one of the State Troopers, a big boy about 6’4″ who smiling asked, didn’t I see you in Albuquerque over a week ago.  I said, yeah.  He said, I’m a Marine, been to Iraq, raising his finger making the italics sign saying I was wounded, but not shot.  I went to some counseling.  My father was a Marine in Viet Nam 1965 and got shot through the hand Christmas Eve.  He thanked me for what I was doing and told me I might see his Sargent, another Marine.
He seemed well adjusted and as happy as one could be, my wish is that all soldiers coming home could have someone who had gone through the grinder like his father to come out the other side a better man to be there for his son.  Not a statistic that gets press, but the unmentioned statistic, a soldier coming home being a good citizen and having a loving family. Three native women stopped me to give me a cup of hot soup and sign the petition after going miles out of there way.  If we all went out of the way just a little it would make a bigger difference then you might think.

January 29, Saturday:  I walked past 2 Guns Rd on rt 40 and a car pulled off the side of the road a ways up and before I got to them
they were gone.  When I got to the place they had stopped there was 2 bottles of water and 2 packs of crackers.  It reminded me of the Appalachian Trail, when you would find food or what you need on the trail: it was called trail magic and the people that left it where called trail Angels.  The first time I meet a trail Angel it blew me away because they got nothing that I could see out of it.  He said, hikers are my hero’s, I chocked on the food I was gobbling and said, no you are mine.  In another life time that was an alien thought to me, doing something with no return. I was startled by a young man running up behind me, when I turned around I saw his car which I hadn’t heard.  He said I want to thank you and walk with you for awhile.  While we walked he told me that he
had been balled up on the floor for a week and his wife came to him and said, get up we’re going for a ride.  She wouldn’t tell me where we were going.  After we were in the car driving she said, there is a guy I want you to meet who is walking and he is somewhere between Flagstaff and NM on I 40 and we’re going to find him.  I said, we’ll never find him, then we passed you and you waved to us. You see I was in Afghanistan and had my faith ripped out of me when we were hit by a roadside bomb and I watch our Lt. burn to death as he screamed for someone to kill him.  You know it was funny because he was always talking about God and I wondered how God could let this happen?  I said, at the end of the day he gets us all, it is our choice what we do while we are here.  He was quite and said, I don’t feel normal being state side, I don’t belong here anymore, in country it’s normal to be edgy and explosive.  I wanted to go back, but I couldn’t do that to my wife, I met her over there.

January 30, Sunday:  I walked into Flagstaff and met one of the local state troopers following up on calls of me going to commit suicide, she was very kind and let me continue. On my walk I saw so many destroyed auto parts that I could have made a vehicle from them.  Back home if they had a number of fatalities in a certain area they did something to correct it.  It should parallel what is happening to our soldiers, but it doesn’t seem their are enough fatalities yet to correct the problem.  Either that or our what we are doing isn’t working.

January 31, Monday:  Last night we shared a meal with new friends I had met through a hiker I had known on the Appalachian Trail.  A different breed of people that seem a little more grateful and a little more aware of nature, our impact and make some effort as a group to do something positive. Today I didn’t walk so we could see the Grand Canyon, the worst case of erosion I have ever seen.  A place where I don’t have to look up to get a feeling of how small I can be physically, one of life’s many illusions.

February 1, Tuesday: This morning it was cold and windy (below zero but warmed up to around freezing and about a 10 mph wind), no one stopped me and I don’t blame them for not wanting to roll down their window.  When Valeria finally got me I was perfectly chilled where just getting out of the wind feels warm. When we got back to Dirty’s house he said he had a friend coming over that wanted to see us.  A little while later we heard a knock at the door and a young man was standing outside with a big smile and I said, hello.  He said, Tyvek don’t you remember me, it’s Easy?  I was surprised that I didn’t recognize him, but I had never seen him smile before.  We had met on  the Appalachian trail 3 years ago when he had just gotten out of he Marines after 5 tours of duty.  He looked great and happy which was nice to see.  He said he had been on the trail because his wife told him to go and not come back till he got his head together, how ever long and whatever it took because this wasn’t the man she married.

February 2, Wednesday:  Valeria convinced me I shouldn’t walk today, it was about 17 degrees the highest and windy making seem colder.  So we made phone calls to enroll more people to show up for our talk tomorrow at NAU.

February 3, Thursday: We spoke at the University of Arizona which  went well and was well attended.  It was set up for us by Rebecca who we had met on I 40 several days ago.  She is a Veteran who met her husband overseas in the Army.  They are lucky to have one another for support because they understand each other. The Veteran group there works to support and help other vets make the transition to school life.  We were told that of the civilians who go to school around a third graduate, of the Veterans only 3% graduate.  I think other then the transition one of the big factors would be that a lot of them already have a spouse and children they have to support which would make it extremely difficult.  I am not certain about this, just a thought.

February 4, Friday: Walked out of Flagstaff and was stopped by a young man and woman, they signed.  She said, I never take off this bracelet, I said, thanks for doing more then wearing a bracelet.

February 5, Saturday: Just outside of William a police officer  stopped me to talk to me as he had check out the website.  He said my son is over there now with the Marines thank you for what you are doing.  Just as I got into Williams a woman with the American Legions Woman’s Auxiliary stopped and brought me to the post to get signatures.  There they feed my wife and I and the woman who picked us up put us up for the night.  Her husband who is 100% disabled with PTSD recently went to prison for 3 years dropping his disability to 10% so they will be losing their home while he is in because of an incident caused by PTSD.

February 6, Sunday: As I walked into Ash Fork I was stopped by 4 different Police to see how I was doing, one had stopped me yesterday and was just checking to see how I was doing and wish me a good day. I have blue Guardian Angels.  A man pulled over to thank us for what we are doing he was a Marine in the VN area, he is now a minister and said, I have a Marine, boots on the ground over there now, my son. After I finished walking my wife and I stopped by the American Legion, they were friendly and they all signed the petition as they watched the supper bowl.

February 7, Monday: I am west of Ash Fork and have been asked by the Sheriff to take rt 66 till I get out of his county, a 60 mile stretch and just as I made it to the ext ramp a state trooper checked me out, signed and said, I have no problem with you walking I 40, but I didn’t just in case the sheriff came back. Going from I 40 to 66 was like having someone shut off the water, but two woman stopped and signed the petition.  I walked on reading Burma Shave signs. 

February 8, Tuesday: Before I went for a walk I meet a man in the bathroom of the KOA in Seligman AZ.  He is here on vacation from Germany, he works with a Teen Challenge and says that suicide is a big problem.  When we talked we discovered we had similar history and I said, guess we were the seeds that grew on the rocks and still bore fruit. Still on 66 which was quite except for one man who stopped to offer a ride then signed

February 9, Wednesday: The past Commander for the American Legion in Slegman told me 3 Vets died after the Zoning Board prohibited the use of campers and trailers as homes, they are looking into it.  A water tank driven by a Marine stopped and gave me water, but wouldn’t sign, he earned the right. Another man who stopped told me his father had been in the Marines and wouldn’t let him enlist telling him, I fought so you and your son wouldn’t have to. 

February 10, Thursday:  One couple stopped only for directions.  They couldn’t sign as they rushed to see the Grand Canyon Caverns which I am sure wouldn’t be the same unless they got there right away.

February 11, Friday: A member of the State Militia stopped, he said, we are the organization people laugh at, there are 200,000 of us in AZ, we replaced the nation Guard here when they were deployed.  We sent 3,000 men to the boarders and they gave us one 45 for each squad to protect ourselves, thank God we brought our own. 2 native women stopped to thank us and a Marine at the gas
station in Thorton offered to let us stay the night.  We visited with Fran who has 6 children, 3 she has adopted here from natives that have abandoned them for drugs and alcohol.  Wonder if that is another form of that acceptable collateral damage we hear about?

February 12, Saturday: Into Huchberry I had a strange experience as I walked into the wind I had 2 tumbleweeds come up to me, veer away then stay with me for a few steps as if they had a mind of their own. Out of Huckberry I meet the Commandant of the Marine Veterans of Kingman.  He invited us to drop by.  Also a bicyclist passed me twice and later I got an email from him after he checked out our website. He sent me contact info for local papers.

February 13, Sunday: After I finished walking for the day we stopped by a VFW post in Golden and got signatures then stopped at the American Legion.  Going in I asked for the commander to make sure it’s OK, the patron at the bar said he wasn’t in, but just go around and get signatures.  As I was getting signatures one of the woman was saying she didn’t think it was good to make it mandatory, she starts yelling at me then tells the bartender I couldn’t do it.  The bartender asked if I was a member of their post, I said no.  She said you have to leave.  I stopped for a moment at the door to talk to one of the woman who had signed when the bartender and patron who was yelling start screaming for me to keep going.  Getting outside they had the biggest guy in the building make sure we left as he had his phone up to call the police, he avoided eye contact as we waved goodbye.

February 14, Monday: Got work done on the camper at Russell’s RV and they gouged us big time, guess because I was from out of town and a New Yorker to boot.  I was shocked and then realized I had expected them to be sympathetic to our cause.  At least they gave us 2 little Valentine box’s to make the screwing easier.

February 15, Tuesday: As I walked in the Mohave Desert by the airport I was interviewed by the Standard.  The reporter was around my age and said, my dad was in WWII and it didn’t affect him, he wouldn’t use a weapon or hunt.  I said how do you know it had no effect on him, you didn’t know him before he went over?

February 16, Wednesday: As I walked through Kingman I stopped to talk to a car salesman who said he doesn’t sign anything without really looking at it.  As he said that a truck pulled up and the family inside all signed and gave me money.  I left my card with the salesman to check us out. A little ways up the road a bartender ran out of her bar and wanted to know what I was doing, after telling her she had me come in and had everyone sign.  There was a combat Marine from the Vietnam
era and he was glad somebody was doing something. 

February 17, Thursday: After I got done walking I check my emails and got an apology from the car salesman.  He said he was in as well as his brother and father and was sorry he didn’t sign when I was there, he signed on the Internet and offered to help us out.  It gives me hope when someone checks us out then follows through.

February 18, Friday: This morning as I walked into Oatman I heard a burrow in the mountains and hoped I would see one.  When I got into the town of Oatman I saw them all, the tourist feed them.  When the gold petered out they let the burrow go so they would roam around till they became a tourist attraction.  In town one of the gun slingers asked how we funded our trip, I said we did most of it and people along the way help out so they all chipped in and gave us 100 bucks, some of them are vets and others have friends that have committed suicide.

February 19, Saturday: Out of Oatman headed into Golden AZ a car load of girls stopped.  They were Jehovah Witnesses who wouldn’t sign the petition saying it was political, I said, you have already judged it without reading it, it isn’t political.  How much more political can you be then trying to convert someone to not be political.  The more one denies something the more power it has. Stopped at a VFW in Golden AZ and a Korean Vet told me how one of the young men he was with flipped out shot a guard and killed a family of 6 near the base.  When the MP’s came for him he came at them with a spent weapon and was shot beyond recognition.

February 20, Sunday: My first day in CA walking on I 40 a State Trooper comes up behind me acting aggressively asks what are you
doing.  Before I tell him he asks to see my hands then tells me to take my sign off.  He says do you have anything I should know about, I say a pocket knife and he tells me to put it with my sign then asks if there is anything else he should know and smiling I tell him I am a lethal weapon so he steps back.  The whole time he has one hand behind him on his weapon, saying it is against the law, but I am not going to fine or arrest you, do you have someone that can come and get you.  I say my wife and she is at the camp in Needles.  He said I could bring you there, but I have to cuff you, I say that is OK, you want me to put my sign in he says no I’ll do it.  He has me spread eagle, felt like I was doing a split then he had me put my hands on my head while he cuffed me from behind.
It is the first time I ever remember getting cuffed by a cop and it wasn’t to a bed.  There is a first for everything. When he escorted me back I asked to use this as a photo op to send to my boys.  He said, OK, are you sure your wife wont freak out on me, I said, she shouldn’t, but if she does you can cuff her too. He thanked me for understanding his position which I did, he was doing his job and doesn’t know me.  I said, I am not going to waste energy fighting, besides you would get hurt and I would go to jail.  After the photo op he took back his cuffs, which he wouldn’t let me borrow, wished us luck and was on his way.

February 21, Monday: Yesterday when the state police officer said I had to go on another route because it was dangerous for me I said the smaller roads are more dangerous because of curves, smaller shoulders and passing traffic, he agreed and said it was more dangerous for me, but he didn’t want anyone on the interstate to hit me and have to live with killing me.  So today I almost got nailed, but thank God it wasn’t on I 40. After he escorted me home I called to see if I could get permission to walk 40.  They told me CA would be glad to take all my money.  That annoyed me that what I was doing was illegal unless I paid, then all of a sudden it wasn’t if I gave them money.  I guess I still want to believe in fairy tales. A film producer stopped and took my picture, I said you could make a movie of this.  Told Valeria that I wanted Bruce Willis to play me and Merlystrep to play her.  She said she wanted to play herself, I thought a moment and said, I don’t think they have anybody that could cry as much as we do.

February 22, Tuesday: Walked through a town called Goffs that had a population of 23, nice sand to stroll through as a reporter stopped to take a picture for her paper.  We talked about relationships, how we could get along fine with people just as long as we could get away from them.  I noticed constant contact gives my ego time to surface and judgement to set in, it seems I am perfect when I get my way or am alone. Made it to the Oasis, the only gas station in a 30 mile radius were the owner was selling her gas for 4.59 a gallon when the going price is 4.09 here in CA at the moment.  I was watching the News about the Middle East, when the owner commented about greed causing it all. I found that ironic as her hummer was parked outside and she was gouging everyone 50 cents extra a gallon.  I guess when she does it she is entitled anyone else doing it to her is greedy.

February 23, Wednesday:  Walked into Essex and got more then half the people to sign the petition, there is only 6 people living here.  One had been drafted in 66 and was one of 10,000 with an IQ over 110 that were used in an experiment where they were given war games to play. The results from these was used for strategies over seas.

February 24, Thursday: This morning I met a man who had enlisted into the Air Force after VN was over and hadn’t seen any action, but was affected by all the footage of VN he had seen on TV as a child.  He said, my son always wanted to be a fireman and save people so he went into the National Guard, trained to be a fire fighter and EMT, he even bought his own uniform.  He called me up so excited that he went on his first call, describing how he went to the site where a man had PTSD and shot himself and they couldn’t save him.  My son was talking about the call, all I was hearing was how this would haunt him for the rest of his life.  He quietly said, that’s my little boy as he stared at the ground. I remember Red Fox saying: you only get 2 things in life: your first and your last, everything in between was gravy because your first might be your last. A railway man stopped me and let me know he was willing to help if I needed anything.  He was an Army Ranger and had been watching me for days as I walked his route.

February 25, Friday:  A man stopped to take a picture and said, I didn’t get drafted back in the Vietnam area because I had gotten
married and had a child, I always thought I should have gone, you know somethings always haunt you.  I said, somethings haunt us all. A state police officer stopped and called out my name, I was taken back and said, who are you.  He told me he had talked to my wife and wanted to meet me.  He and his friend had discussed how they wanted to collect money to give to people in need and we talked about how they might do that. He asked if there was anything he could do and I said yes so he signed the petition, gave me his water and what cash he had on him except for enough money to buy another water.  I said you don’t have to give me your only bottle of water.  He said, don’t worry I’m driving and thank you.

February 26, Saturday: No one stopped except the people that where on a GPS treasure hunt and to them I was invisible.  It seems ironic, I read the Chinese want us to back up the money they have lent us with property, which I don’t blame them, what could they get with our money if our economy goes south?.  While this is going Americans are racing around the country playing games as the dirt is being sold out from under us.  Our children are paying a high price for a war for who?

February 27, Sunday: As I walked into Ludlow I saw that a car had stopped at our camper so I called Valeria to find out who it was.  She said, there is someone here looking for you I will send him out.  Out came a man looking a bit like a Leprechaun  only taller and he wasn’t wearing green.  When he got to me he said, I heard about you from my friend Dave that just met you and I looked up your website.  I didn’t go to church and drove from Apple Valley to find you to shake your hand.  You see I have been out of circulation and once thought about doing what you are, but cancer has taken away a lot of my life.  I haven’t done anything to help.  I said, I thought I would be getting signatures would be the most important thing I do.  I realized it is about meeting people one on one, giving hope to those who have lost it and share others burdens.  You have no idea how much a smile and listening mean to people.  I used to be so arrogant that I thought what I did doesn’t matter: everything I do matters.  I care about you, you matter to me.  We cried and he said, I have something I want to give you, it is said that people have millions in change they just put in bottles, well I have some change for you, it took the 3 of us to carry it to the camper.

February 28, Monday: I walked out of Lodlow and one of the railroad crew stopped and said, I have been watching you since Arizona, you need anything.  I said, I could always use some water and a signature. He signed after giving me a water and said, I was in the Navy and my 15 year old son wants to be a sniper.  I don’t want him to, but I don’t try to talk him out of it, that would be like giving him the keys to go down and sign up.  He has a lot of time to change his mind. Just before I finished for the day I saw a man doing that GPS treasure hunt, you can tell because they pull over numerous times and run out of the car each time.  He stopped by me and I asked what was the deal with this game.  He said, we look for a little can to sign off on the paper inside to verify we were here, it’s free, I am retired, it is a good hobby for me so I don’t think about things like this (as he pointed to my sign) and drove off laughing.  I thought,  great we should all get hobbies so we can bury our heads deeper in the sand and those of us who don’t have sand can bury it further up our cavity.

March 1, Tuesday: As I walked through New Berry Springs I saw two people at “The Barn”, a bar and went over and asked them to sign the petition.  I had stated that we want mandatory counseling for all Military Personnel so that no one slips through the cracks, especially those already in trouble who may not get an honorable discharge.  The man said, I was in the Army for 28 years and don’t agree with that, there is a reason they got a dishonorable discharge and they don’t deserve any help.  I only get 10% disability and have done 2 tours in combat while the guy down the road draws down more then me, never been in combat saying he has a mental problem and had only done a two years.  The woman with him says, I’ll sign that petition and as we kept talking the man said, my son has seen combat 10 times in his 20 years, it has changed him, he gets angry.  I will sign your petition even though I don’t agree 100%.

March 2, Wednesday: Today I passed through Dagot and stopped at the Post Office to get a signature from a local getting mail.  While I was standing there another man came out with 2 children wanting to sign, his father was a Marine in Korea who he remember waking them up, screaming in his sleep.  He drank which did nothing to stop his nightmares. Before I left two young men in uniform came up to me and said, Ron.  I said, yes.  They came over and shook my hand saying we want to thank you, we saw you walking, looked up your website and we have been calling you barefoot Ron ever since. I told them our plan saying, we need tools to make it home because 70 to 80% of the suicides are because of a failed relationship.  When we get out everyone around us knows we are different but us.  He smiled and said, I got divorced after my first deployment.  I never thought about what you proposed, but it makes a lot of sense, one of my friends committed suicide after his first deployment.  We took a collection in the office for you, it is good that someone is doing something about this. We see that most of the suicides are from guys after their first
trip over.  After your second or third you get used to the boredom, the crazy stuff, the chicken shit and the nightmares start to go away.

March 3, Thursday: When I walked through Barstow a woman stopped me and said, why do they need counseling, don’t they get a good pension? I looked her in the eye and said imagine you are in a car accident with your family and everyone is killed, but you.  Do you think it would bother you?  She grabbed the petition from me to sign it with a look that said, how stupid of me.

March 4, Friday: When I walked to Hodge several people on the road signed and told me of friends that are in and not the same.  Got calls from people who had read about us in the local paper, sharing their stories of lost loved ones. After I stopped we went into a shop and after telling the woman behind the counter what we are doing she told us her son was in now. Before we left she was crying because her cousin had committed suicide when he was in.  What is sad is that for her to cry is acceptable, but if a soldier comes back and cries he has PTSD and lose that job.  They aren’t treated like humans that have feels, they are treated like humans with a stigma.

March 5, Saturday: Today I didn’t walk because we drove back to Bullhead AZ to speak at a Veterans Expo were tables for each Veteran orientated Organization were set up.  They started growing this coalition 4 years ago and I was impressed how well they worked together. Many politicians had been invited to speak, one of which was John McCain, they all sent  a letter of well wishes except for the Mayor of Bullhead who came in person.  I was disappointed as I was told they all said they would be there, I felt it was disrespectful. As I thought about it, knowing that there are 20.4 million Vets in America and if you add the active you still don’t have even 10% of the population.  I guess it is political safe to discard them if they aren’t united, but after seeing how effective this coalition hopefully that will change.

March 6, Sunday: We spent the day on the road coming from Bullhead where we spoke at a Vet. Coalition to go to a speaking engagement in Topanga.  It was a group that formed a community they call Dara started in African.  They meet once a month to share, discuss topics and support one another in causes.  I am humbled whenever I speak to people that have been working to affect change for years and continue to do so even if it appears their efforts are in vain and they told use we inspire them. One woman there told of her son who recently joined the Marines and told her he wanted out.  She told him she would do whatever it took, a week later he decided to stay in.  She cried as she told how she would honor his decision no matter what she felt.

March 7, Monday 2011: Today’s walk was reminiscent of Oklahoma as I was buffeted around.  On the side of the road 3 men wrestled in the wind to strap a rug to a trailer.  I asked if they would be interested in signing a petition.  They asked what it was about, the boss is a first Sgt. who said he wouldn’t sign, I don’t want my men to go for help it looks bad on my record, we constantly monitor them and give assessments.  I explained how our plan would eliminate it looking bad on their record by being mandatory.  He thought for a moment and asked if I could speak at on of his classes.  Of course I said, Yes! A young man stopped to tell me, you don’t have to be in the military to get PTSD, I found my friend murdered in the desert.

March 8, Tuesday: Before I started to walk I went into the Iron Hog to see if they had coffee for Valeria (have to keep the troops happy), they had let us camp in their parking lot.  When I opened the door the first words out of the barmaids mouth where, you need shoes to come in here.  I paused a moment to compose myself, then said with an attitude, do you have coffee, she said, yes, I replied, I’ll be back with something on my feet.  We returned and told her what we were doing as we waited for coffee.  She started to cry and said, my father was in Korea and before he committed suicide he tried to become a mercenary, but they wouldn’t take him, they said he was crazy.  I am sorry I didn’t know who you were you can lose the flip flops. Just before I finished for the day in Victorville, where I thought I had taken a wrong turn a large young man waiting at a bus stop across the street from me cups his hands to his mouth and yells out, Bullshit.  Now he had made 3 mistakes, the first was to yell bullshit, the second to think because he was 6′ 5″ and weighing 260 people would be intimidated by him and his final mistake which was almost fatal was that he didn’t do it from a car.  Instantaneously my temper flared up, he represented all the people who cursed me from their car or who tried to scare me by hitting my sign with their car when they drove by.  I walked across 4 lanes of moving traffic, at that moment they didn’t exist .  By the time I got to him I was calm  and looked up into his eyes and said, excuse me I didn’t hear what you said.  He stood there and stammered, he didn’t know weather to pee or go blind and finally said, I have some questions.  I said, what.  He said, well I read that the more times you are deployed the less problem you have with PTSD.  I said, really, what branch are you in, he rolled his eyes and didn’t answer.  I asked again, he said, I’m not in.  I said, go ask a Vet then tell me.  He said, I like to read both side, I said, then do so before you make a judgement. When I walked away I cried because I had been so angry I wanted to hurt him, it wouldn’t have needed much of an excuse.

March 9, Wednesday: This morning, The Servants, a 3 patch Christian Motorcycle gang was here to see me off after visiting last night to hear our story.  Most of them are Combat Vets who put us up at the Shady Oasis, feed us and worked on our camper.  When they back you up, they back you up.  I received a lesson in Humility, especially from Wizard who had did most of the work on the camper.  Whenever I thanked him over the coarse of 2 days he would say, it is the Lord who gets the credit.  Most of the my life I thought I was doing something instead of God working through me.  Their pastor, Don Standing Bear took me under his wing giving my mother competition.  The San Beradino paper took pictures of us with the gang before I went for my jaunt. As I walked out of Victorville I came upon 3 homeless people, one was a Vet who has lived for years in the desert while the other man said he had been in and out of prison for stupid stuff, his toothless girl friend sat at his side.  They were drinking beer in the shade of a new building after signing the petition.

March 10, Thurssday: I walked on 66 after I was asked to leave the inter state, a treacherous stretch because of the speed limit, hill
and people coming back from Vegas.  On one of those rural stretches I was passed by a car where a man yelled out his window, get rid of the trash,Asshole.  I waved for him to come back, but you know how engaging motorist are.  To my surprise he had parked off the road about a half mile past me.  I thought, not only is he rude, he’s stupid too as the thought of a busted windshield crossed my mind.   Of coarse I didn’t act upon it, but for a moment it was a pleasant thought. Tom who we had meet coming through the desert of CA told his wife about us and she came today to walk and talk with me.  She has written over 6,500 letters and worked for years on a project to help the environment.  Another one of those unsung hero’s that has no PR.

March 11, Friday: A policeman stopped me because he heard someone was chasing me with a brick.  Got mustard seeds from a street preacher who told me to keep the faith, I said, no I will spread it. Met Jim Wrights son, a Marine who is now a police officer in
Cuchamonga.  He was a happy camper and loved his job being undercover and not working a beat.  He signed the front of the camper and thanked us, when we parted I told him to say hello to his dad for us. As the sun was setting I spoke at a park were only a handful showed, I felt like I was preaching to the choir.

March 12, Saturday: We were comped the night at The Holiday Express in Victorville to be at their flag raising ceremony.  Because of the poor turn out last night and this morning I realized the people that show up do it because they care, it means something to them.  Even if no one else showed up they would be there,they don’t have to get anything visible out of it.  Those old men with a poppie on their lapel, the young women with brothers in, the mothers, the children who all look up at the flag with a vision of freedom, God bless our loved ones is on their lips.

March 13, Sunday: I called a High School buddy who had moved out here and I hadn’t seen I went into the Marines.  When I called he said, I haven’t seen you in 30 years, I said, and we didn’t even hate one another.  When I arrived I wouldn’t have recognized him except for his face, after the initial shock we got to catch up on things.  He told me his body is from riding PT boats in Viet Nam: a gift from Agent Orange, diabetes, quadruple by pass, etc.  He came home to being spit on, called baby killer and sitting on a bar stool for a solid year. That ended when his brother walked in one day and said, do you think you had enough to drink, he paused and said, yeah, his brother said, good, we have work to do. Thirty years melted away by bonds that defy logic and we were brothers that just saw one another the other day.  We discovered that we could have been raised by the same father, a young man out of WWII with no tools.  The only difference was his father had committed suicide so he got fewer beatings, but he had the tools to continue on his own.

March 14, Monday: As I walked through Upland, Claremont, San Dimas and Glendora into Azusa I meet a Marine who served Beruit: another sterling moment in American History where Politicians blatantly ran a war.  I had daughters of vets sign and a father with his son sign as he explained to his 6 year old what I was doing.  A homeless vet wouldn’t sign, he said, my signature doesn’t mean anything.  A non vet took what seemed a lifetime to read the petition then asked if I read it. I said, I wrote it.  He looked at me then refused to sign with no explanation. Does a 3 piece suit change the truth?

March 15, Tuesday: I had a man and his friends do a U turn to sign the petition and wish us luck early in the day.  An just after I felt
I had mastered being invisible in an neighborhood of deaf people. At the end of the day we were invited to speak for Crusade TV
which is a Baptist program near Anaheim run by Reverend Wilee.  He said, I like to check in on what God is doing and join him.  He has a shelter for 60 homeless at this time, it used to be 250.  Didn’t that get the town excited!  They told him to kick them out, he refused.  I like this guy, he turned no one away no matter what they believe or what pressure the town put on him: he preaches with his actions not his mouth, well he does both, but his actions speak louder.

March 16, Wednesday: Today I had more rejection then I have had anywhere else so far, you’ve got to love Southern CA.  One man saw me coming, pulled out his Veteran ID card and said, no where not (in reply to my sign which reads 18 vets a day commit suicide) as he walked into the liquor store at noon.  I guess there are many ways to kills oneself?

March 17, Thursday: On a busy street in Hollywood, Los Feliz Blvd a young Viet Nam man pulled over in traffic, got out and said, I saw you on the news and wanted to sign your petition, my Grandfather was in the war, he fought on the other side.  I was blown away how happy he was to sign it to help men who had killed his people.

March 18, Friday: Today we are staying with Joe who lost a son to the war,he told me how he met with soldiers from wounded warriors who knew about his son and one asked him, how did you feel losing your son. Joe was shocked and couldn’t answer, he thought about it for weeks and hopes to see him tomorrow because now he has an answer for him. On the walk I was invisible and stopped into a church after talking to Vale who said, don’t approach anyone today and see what happens.  It was odd for there was a mass at noon on a week day, the sermon was about forgiving and if you can’t forgive, pray that you can.  I thought about the man who I don’t think was a citizen not wanting to sign the petition because he couldn’t get a job.  If he can’t he doesn’t want anyone to get what he thinks he is entitled to and there won’t be enough for him and his family.

March 19, Saturday 2011: When I walked today I had bikers, veterans, peace activist, ministers, cameramen and family members who had a suicide in their family walk with me.  Joe Anzack’s sister Dawn set it up and had First Sargent Jessie Acosta walk with us, a great advocate for Veterans who was discharged after being blinded on his last tour of duty due to shrapnel from a mortar.  He walked with his friend Rusty one of the greatest snipers in the USMC and his seeing eye dog.  As we walked I talked to Jessie and he told me of the discrimination against the blind.   When I asked about his family, he said, you don’t see any of them with me’ it was his greatest cost of defending his country, his family.  What greater cost then that is there. I walked to the end of the Santa Monica Pier, took of my sign, knelt down with Don Standing Bear, thanking God for keeping us safe and being with us on this journey.   Then I stripped down to my Batman underwear and plunged into the ocean: I love this country.

March 20, Sunday 2011: Today I spent the day with my adopted son who is in the Coast Guard and his girlfriend who is a Counselor for Vets.  Her boss tells the men, it will be hard work and you may use drugs to get through it, but we won’t use it as a cure.  You have lived through the worst, don’t avoid it now.  One of the soldiers told her, do you know what PTSD stands for, she said, I know what I think it is what do you say it is?  It stands for People That Should be Dead.